Kip, 34

What do you do for a living?
I'm a bar manager.

Do you have dating advice for guys based in your experience in bars?
Don't be a douchebag. Like, if she's not into you, she's not into you. But also don't be afraid to talk to people. If you want to buy a girl a drink, buy it through the bartender. Be classy about it. You're going to have a lot more luck that way.

Any advice for girls based on working in a bar?
I feel like girls can do whatever they want in a bar but I think I would give similar advice to girls. Don't be afraid. If you're into somebody and you want to go talk to somebody, what do you have to lose? There's nothing to lose.

What is the kinkiest thing you have ever done or had done to you?
Kinkiest? I think that is so hard to answer because what might be kinky one day isn't necessarily kinky the next day. I think kinky has everything to do with how much fun you are having with the person you're with.

Can you give us an example of one moment?
Yeah, well, there was definitely 'The Toe Girl.'

'The Toe Girl'?
This girl just really liked toes. We can leave it at that.

Like you interacting with her toes or her interacting with your toes?
She liked interacting with my toes. Let's just say that toes took the place of fingers in a lot of ways.

Oh. Whoa. Okay. Do you have any relationship pet peeves or dealbreakers?
Intentional game playing. Fishing for things you want to hear is kind of a dealbreaker. When you are more concerned about yourself in a conversation than trying to hear what there is to hear, that's a little boring. I don't want to be your therapist. I want to be your boyfriend.

Is there any sex advice you 'd like to give to girls, aside from 'Toe Girl'? You can use this as your PSA right now.
Women: do not be afraid to let yourself go. Do not be afraid to be loud. Do not be afraid to say what you want because guys like that a lot. I think the same thing can be said for guys, too.

 

Willie, 27

What's your occupation?
I'm a sales associate at a retail store.

What's your relationship status right now?
I am single and loving it.

In a breakup, are you normally the dumper or the dumpee?
Normally, I am the dumpee.

Why do girls dump you?
I don't know. Most of my experience has been with long-term relationships, so it's like a long, drawn-out "okay, we're both tired of each other, let's stop this" sort of thing. It's not like there's any particular reason. It's just been a lot of being with someone for a long time, then being tired of it. It starts like, "we need to spend some time apart," and that time turns into all the time apart.

Are there any specific relationship or sex dealbreakers that you've experienced?
I generally try to cut that relationship off before it even starts. I'm pretty good at interviewing.

What is something that would turn you on? Romantically or physically.
Education is a really weird turn-on for me. I don't have a Master's degree and I really want a Master's degree. I guess I don't meet a lot of people who have higher degrees so I get really excited about it.

Are there any particular specialties you're interested in? Liberal arts vs. hard science?
Actually, science is really, really good. If it's a business Master's degree, I could care less about it.

That gives the nerds something to root for.
I know right? I love nerds.

What's the kinkiest thing you've ever done or had done to you?
Well, me and my girlfriend at the time decided to role-play a little bit. We did this really stupid plumber and person with a bad sink. I was the plumber. It basically turned into a porn: "Oh, I'm gonna fix your sink" and "oh, sorry, I didn't get dressed after the shower." It really just kept going on and on. We just kept spouting innuendo after innuendo at each other and we weren't really getting anywhere. And so we just stopped and had sex. I don't know if that's considered kinky or a weird thing that happened.

Whose place were you at?
We both lived together. It was odd. I guess it wasn't kinky though.

Were there any other scenarios you tried after that?
We pretty much figured out that we weren't really good at it.

 

Maya, 18

What's your occupation?
I'm a college student.

What's the best dating advice someone has ever given to you?
You should be with someone you enjoy being with and not someone who you see a future with. I find that I can get really ahead of myself. I got that advice from my mom.

And are your parents still together?
No. They are very divorced. [laughs]

So are you single or dating?
I currently have a boyfriend.

Can I ask how you guys met?
Yeah. There's this thing at my college called Safer Sex Night, which is essentially the Sexual Information Center's plan to get people to have safe sex. Everyone gets drunk and goes to this party naked. It's funded by the school and there are condoms thrown everywhere. So I went —

Naked.
Well you have to cover your genitals and your nipples. Both genders. Those are the only guidelines. So I was wearing this mesh dragon suit and I went up to said-boyfriend who I barely knew. We both started dancing, and we were both really fucked-up, and I went back to his place, and we had really, really good sex. Afterwards, I stayed over and we were both saying sarcastic remarks. I was commenting on how bizarre the situation was to myself and all of a sudden I realized we were making each other laugh.

Was the intention for it to just be a hookup and then it got promoted?
Yeah. Essentially because we talked and that worked. We had sex and it was awesome! Then we stayed up the whole night joking. And then we thought we should date because we have sex and get along.

Wow. So you really took your mom's advice.
Yeah, I really did. And I've had to apply it to him. Because I've thought, "I don't know if we're going to get married." Then I realized it doesn't really matter because we have good sex. It's just my own neurosis of "Where is this going?" Then I remind myself that I'm having fun and I'm having a good time. We like each other and that helps.

Before dating this boyfriend, did you have any terrible dating or experiences?
Yeah. I had a crush on this boy who was two years older than me when I was in high school. Finally I was a senior and he was in college and we hooked up randomly. He's a very pretentious guy. Essentially right before we started hooking up, he was quoting Thoreau to me. Then while we were having sex, he was very vocal. He said things, like full sentences and phrases...

Can I ask for an example sentence?
Well, I had a really big crush on him. Then while we were having sex he said, "Is this just how you imagined it?" and I started to laugh. So I said "What?" And he said, "Well, did you imagine it just like this?" And I was like (sarcastic voice) "Yeah! Sure! In your bed!"

How was the sex?
Um, it was okay? Mediocre?

Just like you imagined it?
Just like I imagined it! And the next time I saw him I told him, "You're very vocal! I was actually surprised at how upfront you were."

And was there an encore?
No, just friendship.

I was just wondering if he had a chance to take on your constructive criticism.
No.

Interviews and photography by Nancy Sun. Want to talk to strangers in your town? Email .