FBI discipline records leak, revealing hilarious indiscretions
By Peter SmithJanuary 27th, 2011, 6:45 pmComments (7)CNN just got ahold of the last three years of FBI discipline reports, and the contents are both titillating and totally unsurprising: turns out FBI agents are just as carelessly sex-hungry as the rest of us. One made a sex tape with his girlfriend, then blackmailed her with it. One brought strippers to work. A third watched porn and masturbated in his office, but who doesn't do that? (Result: a thirty-five day suspension. But think of all the masturbating you could accomplish in thirty-five days! Silver lining!)
More good shit: one employee went to a strip club and claimed he was conducting an official investigation, which sounds like a good premise for a terrible Adam Sandler movie. And another searched FBI records for dirt on attractive celebrities. (Kevin James will take that part.) Yet another videotaped a female coworker changing in the bathroom, which... actually, that's probably not that funny, even if it sounds like just the role for David Spade or Rob Schneider. You can read the entire leaked report here and get to work on that spec screenplay.
Commentarium (7 Comments)
Not all of them are fun and games. The guy who sexually assaulted his adopted daughter and granddaughter (#3) does not really belong in regular society with or without a badge.
Amazing.
The best part is that the thirty-five day suspension was probably "paid"!
All but one of the employees who were specified by gender (which is most of them) were male. I don't know if that simply reflects the FBI's distribution by gender, but maybe they should start hiring more women.
@xdl: Not likely. A suspension with pay is usually called a vacation. In order for it to be a punishment, it would have to be without pay.
and a suspension will mess up his/her retirement date
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