Study: Wild, crazy sex increases fertility

Writing in Psychology Today, sex educator Pamela Madsen alludes to a recent study indicating that a woman's chances of conception are increased by engaging in exciting sex, as opposed to the boring, mechanical kind. Basically, you want your sperm to be happy like those black Wagyu cattle that get massages and champagne, so you get the payoff later. Apparently, the amount of sperm produced can be up to fifty-percent greater when coitus is less pro forma, and more hanging-from-the-chandelier.

For women trying to get pregnant, stress and anxiety can be inimical forces. Biting and wearing strange masks might actually recommend themselves as more than kink-for-kink's-sake. According to Dr. Allen Pacey, who lectures in andrology at Sheffield University, "When a woman experiences an orgasm, we think the intensity of the muscular contractions she has during the big pressure changes going on in her body helps to pull or suck up the sperm into her cervix and from there into the uterus." Though it may seem embarrassing now, one day your kids will thank you for that hot candle wax and Catwoman suit.