Dueling Pinocchio projects are the new dueling Snow White projects

In the grand tradition of Armageddon and Deep Impact, Capote and Infamous, and Crash and Cars — those are pretty much the same film, right? — Pinocchio will become the next story to become two competing film projects. (See also the upcoming Snow White and Snow White and the Huntsman.) Fox has purchased the prequel story The Three Misfortunes of Geppetto with Shawn Levy, director of Real Steel, attached; it joins Warner Brother's potentially Tim Burton-directed, live-action adaptation of the fairy tale. If the films follow the Snow White mold, one will be "gritty" and one will star Julia Roberts, but it's too early to tell which will be which.

But I know an opportunity when I see one, and I'd like to take a moment to suggest possibility for another fairy-tale based project in direct competition that Hollywood may be interested in. I'll even save them some money by coming up with both for the price of one:

Hans and Greta: The dark tale of two siblings haunted by the traumatic experiences of their youth, Hans and Greta follows the adult protagonists on their unending quest to rid the land of "witches." But when someone points out they might just be viciously dispatching eccentric old ladies, the two must ask themselves: who are the real monsters?

Gingerbread House: Dreamworks' newest animated adventure follows plucky youngsters Hansel and Gretel as they try to outsmart the witch who lives in a house of candy. It won't be easy; her ogre sidekicks Rufus and Doofus are on the lookout! (Voiced by Will.i.am and Larry the Cable Guy? Just spit balling here.) With only their wits and the help of a talking badger named Boffo, will they be able to claim the delicious domicile for themselves?

I smell two hits, or one hit and a dud, or one project that will actually get made and one that will languish in development hell. The point is: call me!