"The Social Network" producer thinks everyone should be "Sorkinized"

Scott Rudin, the spectacularly successful movie producer who can claim The Social Network on his résumé, thinks that everybody in the world should be "Sorkinized." Now, before you call him a racist or homophobe or anti-business or whatever your particular anathema may be, you should know that the root of the word "Sorkinized" comes from the phrase "Aaron Sorkin," which is commonly associated with not only the upcoming Mark Zuckerberg-fueled Facebook film but also The West Wing and Sports Night. So, being Sorkinized is a good thing.

Rudin's exact comments to Rolling Stone were: 

I think every person should have the opportunity once to be Sorkinized. What could possibly be better than that? I wouldn't complain about it if it were me.

But perhaps you're still on the fence -- after all, you spent your entire teens trying really hard to get John Hughesified but were disappointed to find out that people die. Well, to help support Rudin's argument, we've gathered some of the benefits that come with being Sorkinized:

• Your habit of simultaneously walking and talking will become 56% more dramatic.

• You might one day meet Justin Timberlake, whose turn in The Social Network suggests that he probably met Aaron Sorkin once.

• That terrible television series about an SNL-type sketch comedy no longer exists, so you don't ever have to worry about being in that.

• You can have him answer your questions relating to the economy, which he will probably enjoy doing until he realizes that you mistook him for New York Times financial journalist Andrew Ross Sorkin. 

• Maybe he'll let you play the president of some country, any country.

• He'll probably let you borrow his Sports Night DVDs.