Animals — They're Just Like Us

Ten critters thinking dirty thoughts.

By Rachel Shukert

In honor of the Discovery Channel's Life, we speculate about the love lives of animals. Actually, we've never watched Life. We've just wanted to do this for a while.

All Lorraine had ever wanted was to give pleasure to her partner.

It wasn’t that Stuart was reluctant to “dive in,” so to speak, it’s just that he didn’t expect it to smell so earthy.

Beth-Ann the African Buffalo suddenly remembered why she’d stopped going out with high-school boys after sophomore year.

Try as he might to keep a good face on things, Arthur had begun to fear he would never make the leap into mainstream film.

Not for the first time, Neil wondered: if he hadn’t been born a squirrel, would he have to listen to quite so many bad puns about his “nuts”?

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