Guinevere, 23
I want to find a rich husband. How can I ensure success?
Stroke their egos. Most of them are mama's boys too, so don't diss their moms.
Recently, my boyfriend's best friend hit on me. Now he keeps emailing to apologize, but he also confessed to liking me for a long time. I'm intrigued by what could happen with this guy. Is a successful boyfriend-to-best-friend switch possible?
I had a similar situation, and didn't want to break up with my boyfriend.
However, the other guy waited for a semester, eventually my boyfriend began to repulse me, intrigue got the best of me, and voila! I'm with the other guy now and happier than ever. The moral of that story is: If, in time, your gut starts heaving at the sight of your boyfriend, but fluttering in response to the other guy, it's possible.
What have you learned in law school that could be applied to dating?
Long-distance relationships are damn near impossible. You don't have the same friends anymore, so when he visits, social situations are awkward and he's clingy. You waste money and time constantly traveling and talking on the phone. The list goes on. The best thing I ever did was to get a boyfriend at my law school.
My boyfriend sometimes jerks off in our bed after he thinks I've fallen asleep. He does this three or four times a week, and we only have sex about once a week. Is he unhappy with our sex life, or is this normal?
Since I'm usually the one ripping my boyfriend's clothes off and waking him up in the middle of the night to have sex, I would go with A. If you're willing and able to please him, he shouldn't need to do that. He should fall asleep before you do because you've exhausted him. Fact.
My girlfriend cheated on me and I'm crushed. She says it was a mistake and still wants to be with me. Am I supposed to forgive her or dump her?
If my boyfriend ever cheated on me, I would want to inflict as much physical pain on him as possible to compensate for the emotional pain he caused me. I hate cheaters. There will always be a part of you that doesn't trust her. Do you want to be second-guessing what she is telling you forever? Waste of time and energy. Go out and find someone new.
I suspect my girlfriend is into my roommate — they've developed a special bond. Sometimes she stays up watching TV with him after I go to bed. Should I confront them about this, or am I crazy?
I'm a super-jealous person, so I wouldn't let my significant other stay up late at night with my roommate. But my irrational jealousy often causes unnecessary crying. I'd suggest talking to them about how it makes you feel. Chances are, they're just friends. And it's great — and rare — when your friends and your significant other get along.
Chris, 26
I'm a grad student with a full-time job, and I'm so stressed out it's killing my libido. How can I get it back?
Put away your books for a night, get a bottle of wine and watch a porn.
In a moment of weakness, I had sex with my best guy friend, and now he thinks we're together. How do I let him know that's not what I want without ruining our friendship?
Joke about it early and often. A well-placed joke can accomplish the same as a serious sit-down talk. That said, there are worse things than friends with benefits.
I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and I love being with him, but I know we're not meant to be together forever. Should we break up because we're not getting any younger, or just let it ride out on its own?
Even if you're not going to marry this guy, there's nothing wrong with being with someone in the meantime if it makes you happy. That said, don't keep your eyes closed to other options. And be open with him about it — he may just be along for the ride, too.
How can I snag a future lawyer?
Be able to support us for a bit while our debts pile up.
I suspect my girlfriend is into my roommate — they've developed a special bond. Sometimes she stays up watching TV with him after I go to bed. What should I do?
Cancel the cable service and see if they suddenly find they share a mutual affection for late-night jigsaw puzzles. If they do, kick them both out.
I've been in a great relationship for almost a year, but I still check my ex's Facebook page at least once a day. Is there something wrong with me?
Nah, a lot of people do it. Facebook has legitimized stalking, in a way. If it's a real problem, de-list them as friends.
Mackenzie, 23
Recently, my boyfriend's best friend hit on me. Now he keeps emailing to apologize, but he also confessed he's liked me for a long time. I'm intrigued to find out what could happen with this guy. Is a successful boyfriend-to-best-friend switch possible?
You cannot go for his best friend unless he fell from the sky and you're positive he's your soul mate, because when it doesn't work out, I promise, they're both going to hate you when it's all over.
I suspect my girlfriend is into my roommate — they've developed a special bond. Sometimes she stays up watching TV and giggling with him after I go to bed. What should I do?
You're focusing on the wrong thing here. Maybe you should ask whether your relationship with your girlfriend is on the rocks. Do you stay up late giggling with her? If you and your girlfriend have a close bond, you shouldn't be threatened by her friendships. She could also be trying to befriend your roommate just to be closer to you.
How can I snag a future lawyer?
Law students are often a dangerous match for each other, so as a fun outsider, you're looking pretty good. Get a job as a barista at Starbucks, a cigarette vendor, or at a bar across the street from the law school.
I've been in a great relationship for almost a year, but I still check my ex's Facebook page at least once a day. Is there something wrong with me?
I don't think there's anything wrong with you, but what are you checking for? If you're "obsessively" looking, it sounds like you still have feelings of jealousy, anger, sadness, or bitterness for this guy. You are better off not knowing. De-friend him during a moment of clarity — you can always re-friend him when you've moved on.
My girlfriend cheated on me and I'm crushed. She says it was a mistake and still wants to be with me. Am I supposed to forgive her or dump her?
You're not supposed to do anything. You can't control how you feel. The most important question you need to answer is this: Can you ever forgive her and forget about this? If you're still going to be fighting about this in a year and you know you're not the type to forget about it, then it's clearly time to cut your losses and move on. Also, avoid placing all of the blame on your girlfriend. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but she probably cheated on you because she felt there was something missing in your relationship.
What have you learned in law school that could be applied to dating?
Don't put up with people who need more than they're willing to give. I get stressed out and tired from school, which has helped me learn to weed out the bullshit relationships, friendships and dating prospects. Relationships should be easy, because the rest of life is hard.
Andrea, 24
In a moment of weakness, I had sex with my best guy friend. Now he thinks we're together. How do I let him know that's not what I want without ruining our friendship?
The problem with best guy friends is they get in with your family, friends and problems, so if you do get intimate with them it's impossible to detach while leaving the friendship fully intact. Try a line like, "You're my best friend and I love you, but having you in my life is more important to me than you just being 'another guy'." Play up the fact that he knows how you are with guys and relationships, and you don't want to subject him to that.
What have you learned in law school that could be applied to dating?
Tell the truth, because it all comes out in the end.
My girlfriend cheated on me and I'm crushed. She says it was a mistake and still wants to be with me. Am I supposed to forgive her or dump her?
Your girlfriend needs to do some major explaining. If she can't be frank with you about it, you'll never get over it. After that, get together with your buddies, go out, be crazy and tempt yourself. If you can turn down the temptation, maybe giving your girlfriend another shot is a good decision.
I'm a grad student with a full-time job. I'm so stressed out it's killing my libido. How can I get it back?
Go out, find a guy who you're instantaneously attracted to and just do it already.
How can I snag a future lawyer?
Be normal. The last thing a lawyer wants to deal with is a crazy relationship she's not getting paid to handle. n°
Interviews by Alexandra Godfrey. Dating Advice From... appears on Thursdays. Have questions for the general public? Send them to .
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