Dating Confessions by You "I'm wearing sexy underwear while talking to you online so that I feel confident enough to tell you that I'm into you."
Scanner by Emily Farris Today on Hooksexup's culture blog: We bring you more Dita Von Teese from the German Playboy.
Screengrab by Various Today in Hooksexup's film blog: Holiday special - 35 people, places and movies we're thankful for.
The Remote Island by Bryan Christian Michael Phelps indulges Anderson Cooper in some watersports and Dexter makes a 'bitch move.' Plus: the secret of Tina Fey's scar, revealed!
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
A friend's young son was recently devastated to realize that after a recent growth spurt, he could no longer fit into his favorite bear pajamas. You'll know this same feeling in the coming year, Cap. You'll be growing by leaps and bounds, and you'll no longer fit into your old, comfortable lifestyle. But don't worry — new adventures await. Besides, it's really hard to pull off sexy in bear pajamas. I can testify.
promotion
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
As the year wraps up, it's important to maintain the momentum you generated in fabulous 2007. You've unknowingly planted the seeds for an incredible future, and you're about to start seeing the results. I'd suggest buying a Ziploc baggie, filling it with confetti and carrying it around. That way, you'll be prepared for moments of impulsive celebration, which could very well be happening all over the damn place.
Pisces (Feb. 19-Mar. 20)
Studies now show that whales, dolphins and the delightful porpoise may have evolved from ancient land-dwellers called artiodactyls. As amazing as it is to think of a creature the size of a deer evolving into the largest mammal on earth, the stars predict the same could happen in your love life. Hopefully, it'll take less than three trillion years, and your beloved will not have hooves.
Aries (Mar. 21-Apr. 19)
Christmas may be over here, but in Finland they've formed an official school for "elves" in order to boost the country's economy. Thousands vie for these highly coveted elf positions, which result in paid gigs leading tourist groups around the icy frontier. Lucky for you, the stars predict your own finances are about to get their own fabulous boost, no pointy green hat or striped stockings required.
Taurus (Apr. 20-May 20)
Writing your New Year's resolutions? Better stick "Join Mile-High Club" on the list. The wide-open tarmac beckons — you'll travel this month and all year long. So start planning now: order that passport, invest in some wrinkle-resistant pants and take a few yoga classes. Those airplane restrooms require flexibility.
Gemini (May 21-Jun. 21)
The future's so bright, you gotta wear shades, Gem. The stars predict a shining year for you, not because the Earth is slowly warming and our atmosphere's natural protective layers are being eaten away by manmade chemicals. No! Because both your career and your love life are about to become bright, shining, glittery balls of joy. As long as we're all still alive and not drowning in the melted polar ice caps. Fingers crossed!
Cancer (June 21-July 21)
Studies show that humans judge potential mates by an evolved sense of smell, honed over millennia to detect genetically compatible mates. Unfortunately, studies also show that women on the Pill lose this innate sense. Am I saying get off the Pill? Hells no! But when considering potential lovers, use all your senses. If he or she isn't titillating your mind as well as your body, what are you doing with this person?
Leo (July 22-Aug. 22)
We know you're the one who ate all the Hershey's Hugs that were in that candy dish on the end table in the living room. We also know that you stopped going to your Tuesday night cardio shimmy class at the gym back when holiday preparations kicked off in . . . October. Both your left incisor and your thunder thighs are crying out for help. Good thing you've reached a point in the year when you're primed for healing. Start focusing on your health and, for the love of God, call back the dentist!
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 21)
Okay, so you weren't in your best form at that holiday party. You drank seven too many Midori sours, assaulted the face of your frenemy's new beau with your tongue, and fell off the table on the backyard patio after trying to showcase your moves to that "Soulja Boy" dance. Amazingly, someone found you charming. Or someone will. Because your love life is about to be on fire, just like the couch you were sitting on at the holiday party while smoking a cigarette.
Libra (Sept. 22-Oct. 22)
New Year's Eve can throw people into conniption fits: so much anticipation, expectation and exaltation, but sometimes all you're left with the next morning is some glass balls on the ground and a guy named Dick. Luckily, the stars predict your New Year celebration will be exactly what you want, whether it involves balls or Dick or glitter or whatever else you please.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Do lip-plumping glosses really work? And do you really want to put something called "Venom" on your lips? A friend of mine bought some lip-plumpers in order to impress her long-distance beau when he came to visit. After smearing the stuff on, she welcomed him with open lips, and he promptly embarked on an allergic reaction. His own kissers swelled to the size of mangoes, but it brought them closer together. This is just to say: romance should be sparkling this week, and full of surprises. Just stay away from cosmetics named after fatally toxic substances.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
You may not get paid mad money to party on New Year's like Paris and Nicky Hilton, who command a cool million for appearances, or K-Fed, who, amazingly, rakes in two-hundred grand. But you will be the life of the party the party. Sad you won't be cashing any checks? At least you'll have your self-respect in '08. I mean, as long as none of your friends take pictures. Or video. Or talk about it later.
, featuring curious yet marvelous infusions of cucumber and rose petal.
