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    Sweet Baby Jesus, This Christian Rap Is Embarrassing

    jesusmusic
    Everyone knows that Jesus Christ's perferred mode of travel was a poorly tricked-out car the color of a co-ed's vomit after a night of heavy apple-tini consumption. This video may make a lot of claims about what is and what is not Christ-like, but I think it's important to remember that spreading the gospel using the method of scaring old people with epic bass was only official Church practice after the Synod of Dort. So take this with a grain of salt:

    Hoo boy. You know that when you include a shout out to "the 'burbs" in your chorus, you are well on your way to creating a rap for the ages.

    glory

    "Ummmm... no thanks." - J. Christ

    Via Videogum.

    Commentarium (9 Comments)

    Mar 22 10 - 6:24pm
    Dan

    Why is the old guy shaking? Is it rebellious all of a sudden to love Jesus. I mean other than in my Jewish family.

    Mar 22 10 - 6:37pm
    Runyon

    I always thought that if Jesus were to have a ride, it would have tinted windows and green lights underneath

    Mar 22 10 - 7:38pm
    little_fiend

    @Dan that seriously just made me LOL.
    If I ever see this car, I will be running into it full force. And this kid better watch out, because I drive a pretty indestructible SUV.

    Mar 22 10 - 8:36pm
    Betty

    Someone needs to tell him Cruisin' has 2 "I"s ... he spells is "crusin" throughout the video. Kinda makes him look ignorant.

    Mar 23 10 - 2:34am
    LydiaSarah

    Wow. As cheesy as this guy is, the cheesiness absolutely pales in comparison to his mind-numbing musical ineptness. The dude actually managed to create a track with vocals that sound sloppy and out-of-tune while using AUTOTUNE! That has to be some kind talent there.

    Mar 23 10 - 4:11am
    MJR

    Thou shall worship no idols before me, unless its got some sick bass and body kits.

    Mar 23 10 - 9:25am

    Jesus is embarrassed by his disciples.

    Nov 20 11 - 9:57pm
    Lettie

    You have the monopoly on uesful information—aren't monopolies illegal? ;)

    Nov 21 11 - 2:59pm
    enayxgy

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