Porn Is To Blame For The Economy's Collapse

Finally, something to blame for our economic meltdown. Porn! Everyone, everywhere was looking at porn when we went into a recession. Especially the guys over at the Securities Exchange Commission, who maintained a rather impressive habit all during America's financial collapse. According to the report:

 "A senior attorney at the SEC's Washington headquarters spent up to eight hours a day looking at and downloading pornography. When his government computer ran out of hard drive space, he burned the files to CDs or DVDs. He later agreed to resign. "

"An accountant was blocked more than 16,000 times in a single month from visiting "sex" or "pornography" sites, but still managed to amass a collection of "very graphic" material by using Google to bypass the SEC's internal filter. He wound up with a 2-week suspension."

Jesus! Hopefully item number one on Obama's Wall Street reform plan is improving the SEC's internal filter so the guys watching Wall Street aren't distracted by Edward Penishands, Saturday Night Beaver, or Gangbangs of New York. That, America, is change we can believe in.