We never should have decreed her Dictator for Life after "Genie In A Bottle" went platinum. That proved to be a huge mistake. Maybe if we lived in a different world, the innocent reporter/camera guy/crew person who dared make a noise during an interview with Dear Leader Aguilar would still be alive:
Sure, she quickly tried to play it off as a funny joke, but I think we can all hear the venom in her words. Just to be safe, here are a few other things to be careful of:
- Taking a picture of Christina Aguilera before 3pm (punishment: two days in the stocks)
- Naming a child "Christina" without a permit (punishment: lose a toe)
- Mentioning "Dirrty" (punishment: $1000 fine)
- Playing "Dirrty" (punishment: one week manual labor)
- Looking into Christina Aguilera's eyes (punishment: a day on the rack)
- Comparing Christina Aguilera to Lady Gaga that total copycat who shall not be named (minimum punishment: forced castration, maximum punishment: death by wild dogs)
I hope we're all good and clear about those. Now let's all get ready for the 5pm group sing of "What A Girl Wants."
Via Gawker.
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