News

Evil Bastards Ruin Prom, Childhood, America By Punking Lesbian Teen

So, we've been telling you about this teenage girl, Constance McMillen, who caused her prom to be shut down simply for making a terrorist threat going on a…

By Brian Fairbanks on Apr 6th, 2010 | Comments (12)

Video: Joslyn James Demands Apology For Letting Tiger Woods Screw Her

Because the best way for a porn star to hold a press conference is to do right after your appearance on The Howard Stern Show, porn actress and Tiger…

By Drew Grant on Apr 6th, 2010 | Comments (6)

James Franco's Short Story Is Blue-Collar, Earnest, Exactly What We Expected

You know when you’re eighteen and taking your first college fiction class, and a few months in, you really hit your stride? This is some next level shit,…

By Lindsay Cutler on Apr 6th, 2010 | Comments (2)

Lunchtime Link Love: Breast Expansion Videos

There are rumors going around that Fred Phelps is a gay American -- rumors that we just made up, of course. Because they're obviously going to be true.…

By Brian Fairbanks on Apr 6th, 2010 | Comments (4)

Who Would You Rather: Joan Jett or Kelly Bensimon?

It's not as random as you think: the annual Dressed To Kilt charity fashion show went on last night, and these two ladies donned two of the more modern…

By James Brady Ryan on Apr 6th, 2010 | Comments (5)

Canadians Pee Everywhere In New Commercial

An environmental campaign in Calgary has a new commercial in which a bunch of Canadians pee all over the place. Men peeing, women peeing, white collar,…

By Ben Reininga on Apr 6th, 2010 | Comments (9)

Thank God, Naked Lily Allen Is Finally Back

We're glad that, just because she's disappeared off the face of the earth following a public announcement that she's quitting music, Lily Allen hasn't…

By Brian Fairbanks on Apr 6th, 2010 | Comments (2)

While You Were Sleeping: Sandra Bullock-Jesse James... The Sex Tape?

We're so busy inputting all day with our technology, sometimes we forget to plug our "plugs" into your sockets. John Corbett met his girlfriend of eight…

By Brian Fairbanks on Apr 6th, 2010 | Comments (5)

Drunk Film Crew Leaves Harry Potter Script in Bar, Nothing Happens

In possibly the most anticlimactic news story ever, the crew currently filming Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, went out, got drunk, and left a…

By Tyler Lynch on Apr 5th, 2010 | Comments (2)

A Cappella Group Rick Rolls NYC Subway Car

I'm sorry, but this is exactly why I hate a cappella. In fact, when I graduated college, I vowed never to listen to a cappella again, and the idea that I…

By James Brady Ryan on Apr 5th, 2010 | Comments (8)

Video: Two Talking Carl iPhone Apps Gets Into A Fight

This feels like a very short iPhone-centric horror film. Everything starts out normal, and then slowly devolves into frightening, inhuman madness. Like…

By James Brady Ryan on Apr 5th, 2010 | Comments (2)

Splice Trailer: Hollywood, Stop Making Weird Things Look Sexy

And by "weird" I don't mean, like, people with odd features or bad teeth. You can put lipstick on a crime against nature (and they do!), but it's still a…

By James Brady Ryan on Apr 5th, 2010 | Comments (4)

Weird Makeout App Gets Approved For iPhone & iPad

Thanks a lot, Apple. You don't approve any of the porn apps -- including the iBoob -- that we loved so much, but you'll approve this? Sorry, Sex Is Fun, we…

By Brian Fairbanks on Apr 5th, 2010 | Comments (1)

Dr. Who's Newest Assistant Too Hot For BBC

The newest season of Dr. Who just started, and that means a new Doctor in the British Sci-fi drama. But luckily the Doc's lovely Companion Amy Pond is…

By Drew Grant on Apr 5th, 2010 | Comments (6)

Image of the Day: The Sperm Spectrum

Faster than a speeding bullet, or at least a Peruvian jaguar (but still slower than a dirty gutterpunk working a bike messenger job), it's semen! No one…

By Brian Fairbanks on Apr 5th, 2010 | Comments (6)

Jesse James Quits Sex Rehab Because Of Sandra Bullock

Despite the fact that the Monster Garage host checked himself into the same facility that his wife starred in for the film 28 Days (not to be confused…

By Drew Grant on Apr 5th, 2010 | Comments (4)

Wanda Sykes Spoofs Erykah Badu In "Middle Seat"

With all the controversy and misdemeanors for public nudity that singer/activist Erykah Badu has rained down for her latest music video "Window Seat" about…

By Drew Grant on Apr 5th, 2010 | Comments (1)

Lunchtime Link Love: Star Wars Pinup Girls

Axl Rose fell on his ass in Bogota, Colombia. This made headlines because instead of getting mad and storming off the stage, he smiled at the audience, sat…

By Brian Fairbanks on Apr 5th, 2010 | Comments (1)

The Daily Mail: Absolutely Everything Gives You Cancer

Here at Scanner, making fun of The Daily Mail - British tabloid and purveyor of sensationalist claptrap - is about the closest thing we've got to…

By Ben Reininga on Apr 5th, 2010 | Comments (1)

A Tepid Defense of KFC's Double Down Sandwich

Before I begin, I'd like to state for the record that: 1) this sandwich is horrendous and 2) I would eat it if given the chance. That being said, I'm not…

By James Brady Ryan on Apr 5th, 2010 | Comments (1)