Last night I dreamt about my boyfriend from when I lived in London.

He's my "one that got away" as, with hindsight and perhaps some better management at the time, I could have held onto him.

It would have been worth it. He was, and indeed probably still is, highly intelligent, creative, handsome and funny. And, surely the icing on the cake, minted with an inheritance and a family with Lord and Lady in their title. (Glossary: minted=loaded in English English)

Anyway, last night I dreamt vividly about his dick.

In real life it was a nice 7" specimen and he wielded it pretty well.

In my dream, it was massive. Like 12" massive and fat. Can't guess the circumference, not being a gay male and all, but as fat as a...wracks brain for fat thing...I want to say marrow, but you don't have marrows here. As fat as an egg plant maybe. Two hands fingers to thumbs. Is this clear???

A biggie.

But more than that-- It was mechanical. And green. And disembodied and standing in front of me on the kitchen table. No joke.

My ex boyfriend's giant disembodied mechanical green phallus.

Must eat cheese late at night less or get laid more. Yikes, there's a nasty connection there if you ponder it.