i wouldn't call it abusive, but perhaps i've not experienced it to that extreme. i think if someone is using it as a weapon rather than stating "i'm so angry right now, i can't speak, can we talk about this when i've calmed down" or, as you stated above "we've discussed this ad infinitum..."  in reading the comment about being treated as if you didn't exist is definitely emotionally abusive, but that soesn't sound like what this gal was saying to the "little fucker"  that seem more about being annoyed at his pouting about not getting his way.  

it's most definitely a weapon. I have never EVER gone out with someone who cannot or will not express himself verbally BUT my sister is exactly that kind of person. Growing up with her was very very hard. I was the overly sensitive, extremely communicative older sister and she was the angry silent one (still is to some extent). If I ever try to talk things out with her (and most fo the time I suggest it to help HER with HER issues) she will give me a 12 year old's eye roll followed by 'you gonna cry now?' or something to that effect. When she was little she would not speak to my parents or me for days. today she says it was because she felt like it gave her alot of power. Do I think it's abuse, NO. It is only abuse if it feels like abuse and that is when you must leave. it is however, a very very powerful tool when used on the right person.

Any behavior can be weaponized.  It depends on context, intent and the target.

I don't do silent treatment.  I don't believe I'm capable.  I have deferred a conversation when I don't think my mood is conducive to anything productive.  Even that's a relatively new development... because I used to be totally crash and burn.  If I'm silent, it's a gift, not a punishment and in no way abusive.  

I think silent treatment is unfair and can be very detrimental to a relationship (any kind).  Maybe it could, when combined with other behaviors, be abusive.

But to me "abusive" connotes power over another person.  This OP called the person "little fucker" which to me is demeaning to that person.  It shows they are aggravated, but to me connotes the opposite of what I would think of an abused individual (someone who is something of the underdog in the relationship, who is being hurt but who doesn't leave right away because they doubt themself too much (maybe as a result of their partner's behavior).  This person doesn't seem to doubt themself.)

"Better than sticking yer lip out and glaring fixedly at the telly."  ... well at least you know something is wrong, which is better than "I'm fine!" which for me leaves me a little confused as my gut tells me one thing and my partner another.  Although it would be so much better, certainly more productive, if at the very least, both people knew what the fight was about...

Abuse can be defined as "improper or excessive use or treatment".  Here is something that is immature at best, but is emotionally exhausting and anxiety ridden and very controlling at worst, especially if done often.  

Since we so often associate abuse with physical violence and emotional abuse in a relationship, it seems difficult to put it all on the same playing field... I would be more inclined to lump it into an abusive relationship rather than call the specific behaviour abusive.  (IE - it is abusive if done often... likely accompanied by many other behaviours)

you guys are intense

Feelings are intense; relationships are a minefield of feelings; meanings characterize relationships; so meanings are intense.

"Abuse" is an especially intense word because its meaning is contestable across different situations.  A "victim" or "survivor" of abuse wants to be heard when speaking; but some are very careful with the meaning of "abuse" because they don't want to "trivialize" abusiveness at its worst (they want to be sure the word is reserved for black eyes, not paper cuts), so they contest the meaning employed by the speaker (who only wanted to be listened to, not refuted, remember?).  

And *then* things get really intense.