I've seen the single seen in the 30's. It's not as good as say the 20's. There's a bad assumption in that if you're single and in your 30's there's something wrong with you as a person or mentally. I asked my friends who are single and asked if that thought crossed their mind and it has. How much I think it would still rock to be single I know I'd probably appreciate more so the stability of a good relationship. Fucked up relations can be fun for a little bit. Just not long term. You age faster.

the problem is, if you want kids you really should get it done while you're in your 30s. and they fly by faster than you think. so you meet someone, you want a year or two to get to know them, maybe get married, and then you're in your mid to late 30s and it takes longer to get pregnant than it would have in your 20s... it's not about being desperate for babies, just being realistic that if it's something you want to do, you've got a deadline, which really sucks. i think it's hard to balance that reality with the search for the perfect relationship.

I think shinynew sums it up perfectly. IF you want to have children and IF you have realistic expectations about what your body is capable of, then you really need to be partnered off before mid thirties. OR, think about having a child on your own. It has nothing to do with not being able to survive without a man.

That being said, if you compromise too much in order to get those kids in, chances are the relationship won't survive and you will wind up as a single parent anyway. It's not an easy spot to occupy whichever way you slice it.

If you don't want kids though, and the pressure is from friends and family, tell 'em you prefer to screw everything that moves. That'll stop the questions.

Dear spjv840,

I have a slight personal fear that I will grow old and become so fuglee that I won't be attractive to women anymore. I'll have spent my youth stressing over the girls I had, the ones I wanted, and the ones that got away with nothing but fish tails. What should I do about it? Wah.

kthxbai

wow. what a bunch of reactionary horsecrap that article from the atlantic is. it's hard to believe that a writer would have the Hooksexup to say to her readership "you may say that you don't agree with me, but we both know that you are lying". solid gold!

in my opinion (and if others don't agree, i will at least believe them that they don't), there is nothing inherently fulfilling about having a family. some families are happy, but some are not. likewise there is nothing inherently fulfilling about being single. some singles are happy some are not. it doesn't really matter what you do with your life, as much as it matters that you do it well. therefore, "settling" actually is inherently wrong, because it means doing something just to do it, even if you can't do it right. i don't recommend doing anything in such a way, much less the most responsible thing most of us would ever get to do: raising children.

people like Lori Gottlieb should not be allowed to have children.