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The Modern Materialist

Pointless Wedding Gifts

Posted by Wendy Atterberry

 

Weddings are the types of affairs that bring out the worst in people. I'm not just talking about bridezillas, or even tacky taffeta and lace mother-of-the-bride dresses, or how the bride's uncle always drinks to much and hits on one of the bridesmaids half his age. No, I'm talking about the gifts. Why does it not occur to people to just give the gift of cash, something every new couple can use appreciate? Instead, they insane amounts of money on utterly useless products that'll sit, boxed, in a closet or shoved in a drawer, only to gather dust and take up space until months or years later when they're finally sold for a buck apiece at a yard sale. Five utterly pointless wedding gifts after the jump:

  1. Gravy boat
  2. Stainless steel napkin rings
  3. Milk frother
  4. Iced tea maker
  5. Candle snuffer...because blowing out candles is SO HARD!

[$40, MoMA Store] 

So, I'm wondering, what was the most pointless gift you've ever received? 


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Steph Auteri said:

And this is why registries are key...

April 1, 2008 5:54 PM

DB said:

As a woman who hosts large family get togethers, I have several gravy boats. They're not that useless!

April 1, 2008 7:42 PM

Wendy Atterberry said:

ok, fine. I'll agree that a gravy boat isn't useless to EVERYONE. Just everyone besides you. ;)

April 2, 2008 9:20 AM

Kelly said:

We received about 3 cheese cutting trays & countless cheese serving implements when we got married last year.  I hadn't even registered for anything cheesy!  Now they're all sitting in my closet, waiting to be re-gifted to a lucky co-worker or distant family member.

April 2, 2008 12:58 PM

Alex Zalben said:

@Kelly: I know five things you can do with that cheese stuff:

hooksexup.com/.../my-top-5-cheeses.aspx

April 2, 2008 1:26 PM

About Wendy Atterberry

Wendy is a recent transplant to New York City via Chicago. She loves dive bars, diners and dark movie theaters and hates when people talk with affected accents (like Madonna and Johnny Depp). She lives in Manhattan with her boyfriend and two cats, and has a blog like everyone else.

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about the blogger

Wendy Atterberry is a recent transplant to New York City via Chicago. You can often find her at some karaoke dive bar singing her repertoire, which includes "Midnight Train to Georgia," "Daniel," and most recently, "Sweet Dreams." Don't expect her to always hit the right notes. She lives in Manhattan with her boyfriend and two cats, and has a blog like everyone else.

Alex Zalben is a writer living in New York City. He's written for McSweeney's, Modern Humorist and PulpSecret.com. As one-fifth of the sketch comedy group Elephant Larry, he has been written up in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and pretty much every other major publication. Their blog was named one of PC Magazine's Top Blogs for 2007, and they recently won an ECNY Award for their viral short, "Minesweeper: The Movie." Alex did not know love until he bought his first Mac.

Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and proofreader who has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press, Playgirl, and other bastions of fine writing. She maintains a professional site https://www.stephiswrite.com, and also blogs about freelancing over at Freelancedom. You can keep up on her day-to-day by visiting her Twitter page.

Diana Vilibert is a freelance writer, among other things. Born in Lithuania, she now lives in New Jersey, where she doesn't have to walk to work ten miles in the snow, barefoot, uphill both ways. Diana cannot afford most of the products she writes about because she buys too many pairs of heels to make up for her shoeless childhood. She's written for MarieClaire.com, Janemag.com, and CosmoGIRL!.

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