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The Modern Materialist

The Weekly Top 4: Madonna, GTA4, and More

Posted by Alex Zalben



I’m not going to lie to you guys… It was very difficult to decide what deserved to be in the top spot this week, i.e. what’s most deserving of your entertainment dollars. The question really came down to: am I a gay man, or am I a mentally repressed man-child, with both sides of my personality fighting for dominance.

I think my selections make it pretty obvious which side won:

1) Madonna – Hard Candy ($10, Amazon)
But Why? Because it’s a new Madonna album, and I am a gay man trapped in a straight man’s body. A very, very gay man. “Four Minutes,” the first single off the album sounds like a mess the first time through, and then, slowly but surely, you can’t get it out of your head. Plus, the video is creepy in all the right ways. Also, I’ve bought every Madonna album the day it came out since I’ve been old enough to dance, and will do so until the day Madge dies. Or die. Probably me first.

2) Grand Theft Auto IV ($90, Amazon)
Lock & Load? This is a game so big that articles are being printed wondering whether it will affect Iron Man at the box office this weekend. And it will… Grand Theft Auto is one of the most influential gaming series of all time, and by calling this installment “IV,” (previous installments have been an expansion of GTA3’s engine, released in 2001), Rockstar Games have thrown down the gauntlet, telling nascent gangsters that this is where gaming is going. There’s a ton of options how to get the game, but the Xbox 360 version gets the edge for more online play and downloadable content (though not until the Fall). Pick up the special edition, and you’ll get a hunt guide, duffel bag, lock box, and more. Though, I hear these may be already sold out, if you don’t buy online…

3) The Diving Bell and the Butterfly ($19, Amazon)
Noooo… This is probably one of the saddest movies ever made, but it’s made very, very well. When a man has a stroke, the only thing he can move is his left eye, and through his left eye he learns to communicate, speak, write, and create art. Heartbreaking, beautiful, and excellently made, you can probably miss this unless you want it to live in your head for weeks afterwards.

4) Songs From the Sparkle Lounge, Def Leppard ($10, Amazon)
Really? This is rapidly becoming the hilarious "eighties hair band releases a new album” slot, but hey, it is what it is.


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Wendy Atterberry is a recent transplant to New York City via Chicago. You can often find her at some karaoke dive bar singing her repertoire, which includes "Midnight Train to Georgia," "Daniel," and most recently, "Sweet Dreams." Don't expect her to always hit the right notes. She lives in Manhattan with her boyfriend and two cats, and has a blog like everyone else.

Alex Zalben is a writer living in New York City. He's written for McSweeney's, Modern Humorist and PulpSecret.com. As one-fifth of the sketch comedy group Elephant Larry, he has been written up in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and pretty much every other major publication. Their blog was named one of PC Magazine's Top Blogs for 2007, and they recently won an ECNY Award for their viral short, "Minesweeper: The Movie." Alex did not know love until he bought his first Mac.

Steph Auteri is a freelance just-about-everything, with a special fondness for home goods she can't afford. She has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press and Hooksexup. She runs the blog selfhelpme.net, and her work can be found at stephiswrite.com.

Diana Vilibert is a freelance writer, among other things. Born in Lithuania, she now lives in New Jersey, where she doesn't have to walk to work ten miles in the snow, barefoot, uphill both ways. Diana cannot afford most of the products she writes about because she buys too many pairs of heels to make up for her shoeless childhood. She's written for MarieClaire.com, Janemag.com, and CosmoGIRL!.

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