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The Modern Materialist

Smiley Face Cheese Knives: A Contest

Posted by Wendy Atterberry

 

Summer is my favorite season for eatin' cheese, and now that I live within a few blocks of both Central Park and one of the best cheese stores ever, summertime is better than ever. I feel almost as happy as this cheese knife set...and so will you if you win the set for your very self! Here's how:

In the comments sections, simply finish this sentence: "The cheese knives are smiling because..." You can enter as many times as you want. On Wednesday, readers will vote for the best answer and on Friday a winner will be named. You can choose between taking the smiling knife set or something else of equal or lesser value from Amazon. Good luck!

[$24.95, Amazon] 


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

jaime said:

The cheese knives are smiling because I cut the cheese!

June 23, 2008 1:57 PM

Dirk said:

The cheese knives are smiling because it keeps them from getting dull.

June 23, 2008 3:11 PM

Emily said:

Because they know what's coming will be gouda! Punny!

June 23, 2008 3:17 PM

jaime said:

the cheese knives are smiling because they're about to take advantage of some brie!

June 23, 2008 3:31 PM

jaime said:

I can't stop thinking about cheese jokes now!!! make it stop!

...because they saw cheese balls!

...because cheddar smoked too much.

June 23, 2008 4:00 PM

saraswank said:

Because only they know who cut the cheese!

June 23, 2008 6:56 PM

saraswank said:

Because they are about to get laid by some crackers.

June 23, 2008 6:58 PM

saraswank said:

Because they know that you don't remember you're lactose intolerant.

June 23, 2008 6:59 PM

saraswank said:

Because they're having a secret affair with Murray. (Of Murray's cheese)

June 23, 2008 7:02 PM

eurrapanzy said:

because they make the party

June 23, 2008 8:50 PM

Addie-Poo said:

They know they're going to get wedged between to large round wheels of Cheddar.

June 23, 2008 11:24 PM

shefallsalot said:

The cheese knives are smiling because they know that the cheese (and knives) will come to you.

June 24, 2008 10:43 AM

jaime said:

stop it with the CHEESY jokes!

June 24, 2008 11:13 AM

Eric said:

because they don't have to get stuck up a turkey's butt.

June 24, 2008 9:12 PM

brainathan said:

because the photographer told them to say "cheese!"

June 25, 2008 7:00 PM

About Wendy Atterberry

Wendy is a recent transplant to New York City via Chicago. She loves dive bars, diners and dark movie theaters and hates when people talk with affected accents (like Madonna and Johnny Depp). She lives in Manhattan with her boyfriend and two cats, and has a blog like everyone else.

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Alex Zalben is a writer living in New York City. He's written for McSweeney's, Modern Humorist and PulpSecret.com. As one-fifth of the sketch comedy group Elephant Larry, he has been written up in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and pretty much every other major publication. Their blog was named one of PC Magazine's Top Blogs for 2007, and they recently won an ECNY Award for their viral short, "Minesweeper: The Movie." Alex did not know love until he bought his first Mac.

Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and proofreader who has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press, Playgirl, and other bastions of fine writing. She maintains a professional site https://www.stephiswrite.com, and also blogs about freelancing over at Freelancedom. You can keep up on her day-to-day by visiting her Twitter page.

Diana Vilibert is a freelance writer, among other things. Born in Lithuania, she now lives in New Jersey, where she doesn't have to walk to work ten miles in the snow, barefoot, uphill both ways. Diana cannot afford most of the products she writes about because she buys too many pairs of heels to make up for her shoeless childhood. She's written for MarieClaire.com, Janemag.com, and CosmoGIRL!.

Shaun Seneviratne is a dude just like anyone else. Just your average guy that raps Bone Thugs-n-Harmony to strangers on the subway at 4 a.m., doesn't chew his food because he believes it's a waste of time, and sleeps next to a scale replica of the Ghostbusters headquarters. He can rest easy knowing Egon, Peter, Ray, and Winston have his back. He currently lives in northern New Jersey, plays bass in Rapid Cities, and recently started a tumblr.

Laureen Mahler is a writer and editor who lives in California, where the sun never sets and everyone rollerskates to work. She coedits Beeswax Magazine and spends the remainder of her time as a freelance writer and letterpresser. She truly believes that someday she will master the ultimate multitask of blogging while letterpressing, though that might mean that she'll need a second pair of arms.

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