[$8, Artezn]
Way back when, I had a brief, ill-fated stint in Girl Scouts that can be summed up with a few highlights: I was sent home from a troop meeting for making construction paper boobs during craft time, I accidentally set fire to our troop leader's sleeping bag at camp, and I managed to never earn one single merit badge. Damn those green-clad wenches!
But guess what? Now I can earn my own adult merit badges, for things that actually matter in real life:
[$25, goodEGG]
Gave up caffeine? Jumped on the wagon? No matter what your vacated vice, the Quitting Cold Turkey badge is the perfect reward. Good job, you!
[$8, Artezn]
Did you exercise superior foresight and bike instead of drive to the bar recently? Nevermind the hedge that you pulverized, or the sprained ankle that you managed to get when you forgot that sidewalks have curbs. You deserve a prize for your premeditated responsibility!
[$25, NaNoWriMo]
This set of 10 merit badges includes patches for such mature accomplishments as Socializing, Procrastination, Caffeine Abuse (an excellent precursor to the afore-mentioned Quitting Cold Turkey badge), and The Eureka Moment.
[$12, PodPost]
Mail a letter recently? How adult of you! Show off your not-yet-lost interpersonal skills with this handy badge set. And it comes in a sequential set of three, so if you can't find any postage, you can still feel somewhat successful.
Related: Another Excuse to Regress, Be Rewarded for Your Time