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The Modern Materialist

Happy Hour Test Drive: A Shot in the Dark

Posted by Steph Auteri

Last Friday, my husband and I had over two other couples for a Shot in the Dark party.

It was referred to as such because we would be drinking shots and...um...

Well, we couldn't locate any glow-in-the-dark shot glasses, so it wasn't actually in the dark...

Bygones.

Bottom line: We would be taste testing De Kuyper's new line of bar shots (despite the fact that I only drink wine and am usually in bed by 11).

bar shots are bottles of premixed shots, in flavors such as Kamikaze Burst, Red Headed Burst, and Washington Apple Burst. They're a mere 20% alcohol (40 proof). Their bottles are explosions of color.

 

See?

Still, we didn't want to get ahead of ourselves. We pregamed (ha!) with glasses of wine and some Pizza Hut.

Finally, I brought out the bottles.

We decided to start with the Washington Apple Burst. Mike T. poured shots all around. We picked up our shot glasses (a college-era collection I had long since bequeathed to my little brother, but which I was now borrowing) and looked at each other. Someone counted down, and we drank...

 

There was a mass lunge for the bowl of Doritos. Josh (above) reached for his open can of beer. "I have never been so happy to drink Coors!" were his exact words, I believe.The rest of us guzzled from our glasses of wine.

 

Or maybe that was just me.

Anyways. We were determined to try it all, so we moved on to the Kamikaze Burst. Mike T. poured our second round, though he was a bit more reluctant this time around. As we all clinked our glasses together, I captured him with my camera looking so, so sad:

 

We drank.

At this point, we all had to take a break. I mean, the burst of flavor was just too much for us. We passed the time by surfing the Internet, and watching such gems as Jizz In My Pants, Hamster on a Piano, and Everyday Normal Guy. (This is how we roll.) After an acceptable amount of time, we gathered back around the coffee table for the final shot: the Red Headed Burst.

 

 

As soon as I snagged a whiff of my shot, I experienced flashbacks to my bachelorette party almost two years ago, when I had forgotten the names to all shots but jagermeister. I balked. "This smells like when I vomited for hours," I whined.

I eventually hunkered down beside the coffee table and prepared myself.

I only took a sip.

Amazingly, this last one actually tasted better than the rest and, dare I say, sort of good.

That didn't stop me from abandoning the rest of my shot.

 

Josh, however, continued to pour himself shots from the glass for the rest of the evening, while the rest of us cleared out the wine and beer in the fridge.

Pros to bar shots:

  • I don't know how to mix shots.
  • I don't feel like spending the money on the various liquors that would be required to mix shots.
  • Everything tastes better once you've been drinking for awhile.
Happy drinking!

 

Related: Happy Hour: A Shot in the Dark, Test Drive: The Resume Shirt


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About Steph Auteri

Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and proofreader who has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press, Playgirl, and other bastions of fine writing. She maintains a professional site -- stephiswrite.com -- and also blogs about freelancing over at Freelancedom.com. You can keep up on her day-to-day by visiting her Twitter page, https://twitter.com/stephauteri.

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Alex Zalben is a writer living in New York City. He's written for McSweeney's, Modern Humorist and PulpSecret.com. As one-fifth of the sketch comedy group Elephant Larry, he has been written up in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and pretty much every other major publication. Their blog was named one of PC Magazine's Top Blogs for 2007, and they recently won an ECNY Award for their viral short, "Minesweeper: The Movie." Alex did not know love until he bought his first Mac.

Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and proofreader who has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press, Playgirl, and other bastions of fine writing. She maintains a professional site https://www.stephiswrite.com, and also blogs about freelancing over at Freelancedom. You can keep up on her day-to-day by visiting her Twitter page.

Diana Vilibert is a freelance writer, among other things. Born in Lithuania, she now lives in New Jersey, where she doesn't have to walk to work ten miles in the snow, barefoot, uphill both ways. Diana cannot afford most of the products she writes about because she buys too many pairs of heels to make up for her shoeless childhood. She's written for MarieClaire.com, Janemag.com, and CosmoGIRL!.

Shaun Seneviratne is a dude just like anyone else. Just your average guy that raps Bone Thugs-n-Harmony to strangers on the subway at 4 a.m., doesn't chew his food because he believes it's a waste of time, and sleeps next to a scale replica of the Ghostbusters headquarters. He can rest easy knowing Egon, Peter, Ray, and Winston have his back. He currently lives in northern New Jersey, plays bass in Rapid Cities, and recently started a tumblr.

Laureen Mahler is a writer and editor who lives in California, where the sun never sets and everyone rollerskates to work. She coedits Beeswax Magazine and spends the remainder of her time as a freelance writer and letterpresser. She truly believes that someday she will master the ultimate multitask of blogging while letterpressing, though that might mean that she'll need a second pair of arms.

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