A while ago, Alex introduced you to Dave's Gourmet adjustable heat hot sauce and speculated as to the effectiveness of a product that could conceivably change spice levels with a simple twist of its lid. So, in the MM tradition of putting life, limb, and tastebuds in peril for the benefit of our readers, I recruited an assistant (thanks John!) to help me test drive this intriguing product.
Warning! Before reading on, note that this test drive contains the following: egregious margarita-making, resulting in pervasive blurry photo-taking, and a pretty sweet suggested soundtrack.
Phase 1: Instructions
As is clear from the photo, the adjustable hot sauce comes with extremely scant instructions. The bottle says "turn the top to adjust the heat," but it doesn't indicate which direction is spicier, or how spiciness is measured. So, we decided to just jump right in.
Phase 2: Consistency
It comes in a spray bottle, which 1) is extremely dangerous if you're me and decide to inspect the nozzle while pressing the button, and 2) results in a watery consistency that is a little less than appealing.
Phase 3: Taste Test
Without any guidance from the bottle, we decided to test spiciness at the following lid settings: medium, four notches right, all the way right, four notches left, and all the way left. Above, John tests four notches right and finds it to be somewhat tepid.
Here, I boldly test all the way left. The bad news? Same spice level. In fact, every setting seemed to be producing the same level of (non)spiciness. Frustrated and more than a few rounds of margaritas into the test drive, we did what any responsible taste testers would do: decided the bottle was broken, spun it like Russian Roulette, and doused a pile of tortilla chips.
The result? Somehow we got the bottle stuck on super spicy, which produced a bout of watery eyes, coughing, and another (rather hasty) round of margaritas.
Phase 4: In Summary
On the up side, the adjustable heat hot sauce is a pretty fun concept, and if you can get it to spicy, it doesn't disappoint. It also prompted the invention of Russian Spice Roulette, though this might only work if your bottle is broken. On the down side, consistency is a big issue, as well as the non-functioning bottle. If you're going to make adjustable hot sauce, it's got to actually be adjustable, right?
Our final judgment: not perfect but definitely worth a try, especially when accompanied by margaritas and our official test drive playlist:
1) Johnny Thunders: Chinese Rocks
2) TV on the Radio: Wolf Like Me
3) Roky Erickson: I Have Always Been Here Before
4) The Damned: Wait for the Blackout
5) Kiss: Love Gun
6) Black Flag: Rise Above
7) Pixies: Wave of Mutilation
8) Sonic Youth: Dirty Boots
9) David Bowie: Heroes
[$7, Dave's Gourmet]
Related: Do Not Adjust Your Hot Sauce, Spice Things Up