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Help Me Choose Some Coverage for My Partially Nude Debut!

In four days' time, I will strip down in front of a perfect stranger and allow him to paint my Intimate Portrait. I will do this for you, oh dear readers, so you will know whether or not you should do the same.

Upon speaking with the artist (in order to set up my appointment), my only question was — as it is when I'm attending a pub crawl, a wedding, or an interview — what should I wear?

I was relieved to hear that we could do demure, and that I could go fully nude, partially nude, or fully nude and artfully draped in a shawl or blankie.

I'm bad at sexy, so I need your help. Should I wear...

Realize How Much Your Scene Sucks

Your Scene Sucks reminds me The Hipster Handbook, except that it's not nearly as involved.

While the Handbook pinpointed me as a Loner — "introverted hipsters who have little time for social engagements due to a borderline obsessive relationship with their hobbies and/or work" — the amount of stereotypes on Your Scene is limited.

Still, the site does have its charms, and I find it cool that there is a playlist and set of web bookmarks for each stereotype. For example, the Wililamsburg Hipster listens to Regina Spector and Peaches, and visits the sites for lastnightsparty, thecobrasnake, Free Williamsburg, and Vice.

And recently, the artist behind the site provided the opportunity for more targeted stereotyping:

about the blogger

Alex Zalben is a writer living in New York City. He's written for McSweeney's, Modern Humorist and PulpSecret.com. As one-fifth of the sketch comedy group Elephant Larry, he has been written up in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and pretty much every other major publication. Their blog was named one of PC Magazine's Top Blogs for 2007, and they recently won an ECNY Award for their viral short, "Minesweeper: The Movie." Alex did not know love until he bought his first Mac.

Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and proofreader who has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press, Playgirl, and other bastions of fine writing. She maintains a professional site https://www.stephiswrite.com, and also blogs about freelancing over at Freelancedom. You can keep up on her day-to-day by visiting her Twitter page.

Diana Vilibert is a freelance writer, among other things. Born in Lithuania, she now lives in New Jersey, where she doesn't have to walk to work ten miles in the snow, barefoot, uphill both ways. Diana cannot afford most of the products she writes about because she buys too many pairs of heels to make up for her shoeless childhood. She's written for MarieClaire.com, Janemag.com, and CosmoGIRL!.

Shaun Seneviratne is a dude just like anyone else. Just your average guy that raps Bone Thugs-n-Harmony to strangers on the subway at 4 a.m., doesn't chew his food because he believes it's a waste of time, and sleeps next to a scale replica of the Ghostbusters headquarters. He can rest easy knowing Egon, Peter, Ray, and Winston have his back. He currently lives in northern New Jersey, plays bass in Rapid Cities, and recently started a tumblr.

Laureen Mahler is a writer and editor who lives in California, where the sun never sets and everyone rollerskates to work. She coedits Beeswax Magazine and spends the remainder of her time as a freelance writer and letterpresser. She truly believes that someday she will master the ultimate multitask of blogging while letterpressing, though that might mean that she'll need a second pair of arms.

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