It's a real shame that Norman Mailer was not alive to accept -- or maybe violently reject -- his latest accolade: the 2007 Bad Sex in Literature Award (which Emily noted yesterday). What would he have said in response to winning for a scene in "The Castle in the Forest," his first book in ten years, depicting a bit of oral between Hitler's parents... and Satan?
So Klara turned head to foot, and put her most unmentionable part down on his hard-breathing nose and mouth, and took his old battering ram into her lips. Uncle was now as soft as a coil of excrement. She sucked on him nonetheless with an avidity that could come only from the Evil One - that she knew....So now they both had their heads at the wrong end, and the Evil One was there. He had never been so close before.
The Hound began to come to life. Right in her mouth. It surprised her. Alois had been so limp. But now he was a man again!
OK, we don't care if Jeannette Winterson's nominee involved girl-on-robot action: how could anything beat a coprophilia-tinged, threeway sixty-nine between relatives of Hitler and Special Guest Star The Dark Lord -- written by a dead 80-year old? Like, what is possibly missing from that? That shit beats anything at anything. The Bad Sex Award, the Pulitzer Prize, the Goodwill Games, So You Think You Can Dance... they're all in the bag.
[Thanks, Robert 4343!]