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Marry, F*uck or Kill?: Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Posted by Emily Farris

For many of us, it's time to make the joyous, yet tedious trip home. But before we start boozing to try and forget why we ever left in the first place, we have to actually get there. So what do you choose: plane, train or automobile? While we hold out hope you've done it in all of them, it's time to choose which one you'd take home to meet mom, which one you'd bang in the wee hours of morning and leave before the sun comes up, and which you'd leave for dead.


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Comments

ninkaflower said:

well, Marry the car, if it runs on, oh dieselfuel or rainbows whatever harms the environment least these days, have shameful, sexy quickies with a plane for those crammed daytrips. Kill the bloody train, because, at least in Germany it takes forever, leaves you stranded in the boondocks with delayed connections and costs as much as the flying floozy.

December 20, 2007 1:39 PM

jabarkas said:

You fuck the car, because its a naughty, naughty little beast and its just begging you to get into trouble.  You marry the train, because its a remarkably pleasant place to spend an extended period of time.  And you kill the plane.  You kill the plane so hard.  You ram its overcrowded, screaming child infested, recycled-air-that-you-know-is-gonna-get-you-sick corpse into the ground.  Then you play Office Space copier with whats left, before lighting it all on fire and then making a half-hearted attempt to piss out said fire.

December 20, 2007 3:15 PM

notsosweetkisses said:

Marry the train. You know that shit is always on time.

Fuck the car. It can be convenient.

Kill the plane. I like to swim.

December 20, 2007 3:45 PM

brianfair said:

Hilarious.

Okay... marry the car because you want to keep it around for handiness' sake... kill the train if it's Jersey Transit... and fuck da bus because fucking in a Greyhound bathroom is every hobo boy's dream.

December 20, 2007 3:56 PM

jmcintoshster said:

Hey, remember when MFK used to include girls and/or boys and not modes of transportation, thanksgiving food or cartoon character? Yea, me neither.

December 20, 2007 4:49 PM

khanone said:

Marry the train - comfortable and relaxing

Kill the plane - Sardinesville

Fuck the automobile - Racy and fast

December 20, 2007 8:52 PM

Erica Ryberg said:

Fuck and Marry the train: The loveliest form of transporation ever.

Kill: The car. Basest form of alienation ever. I mean, when you get in a car and drive, you're like 2% human, tops.

December 22, 2007 3:17 PM

thelateandgreat said:

ok marry the car because you can ride it any time you want, kill the train because its heavy and ugly and fuck the plane.

January 7, 2008 7:15 PM

About Emily Farris

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one...so far.

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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one . . . so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Nicole Pasulka is a Brooklyn writer and editor who's always on the lookout for the dirty. Her other virtual home is at The Morning News, where things are squeaky clean most of the time.

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