Here at Scanner, we spend every single moment of every single day praying for another sextape scandal. But we will be goddamned if we can get worked up in the slightest bit over the situation that Argentinian soccer pro Ever Banega's found himself in.
In the clip, which carries the title "Banega, grande desde siempre" or "Banega, always big", the player can be seen chatting over his computer with someone for several minutes before committing a sexual act.
We've watched the thing (click through to have a look yourself), and we are here to tell you: boring, boring, boring. If you like cock, well, there's like 6 seconds of boner. And the rest of the six minute clip is... well, if you ever got hot from the end of an episode of Doogie Howser, where Doogie was typing in his diary, boy are you in luck.
Banega just started playing for Spanish team Valencia under a five-and-a-half year, 18 million Euro contract, so it'd be a real shame to let such an underwhelming bit of smut put his livelihood in jeopardy. Today's Scanner Lesson: if you're gonna get caught with a sextape, for crying out loud, make sure someone else is in the tape with you.
Click through to subject yourself to its unparalleled boringness!