Because she doesn't have anything better to do like show up in court, take care of her kids (with supervision, of course), or get her shit together.
Somebody get this girl a hysterectomy, STAT. Seriously, whether she's pregnant or not, can't the world at large petition for a hysterectomy? (Does that make Scanner Emily a bad feminist?)
[Image of Britney Spears and paparazzo boyfriend Adnan Ghalib buying pregnancy tests via MTV]