Despite spending 2 million dollars pounds on a dress, Paris Hilton has been banned from this weekend's Academy Awards ceremony. Yeah, the show's producers were concerned she'd get mixed up in all the other hollow, golden things on hand. (We put on our Jay Leno cap for that one!)
Our man in the pumpkin said: “She cried hot, salty tears when she was banned from the Oscars.
“She’s desperate to be taken seriously as an actresas and hoped she would be able to network with the film bods.”
[...]
A gossiping mouse squeaked: “She’s tempted to go to the parties afterwards, but might wear her trademark brunette wig to save her dignity.”
Wow. A wig that can travel back in time? Boy, the rich sure are rich!
Truthbetold, ladies and gentlemen, despite our love of pop culture, we try very hard to live an Oscars-Show-free existence. We think our disillusionment may have begun with the "Robocop vs. Pee Wee Herman" sketch from 1988, but whenever it started, it was most definitely cemented with that other failed attempt at Oscar comedy: 1996's "The English Patient Wins Everything."
If, however, we were pressed to make broad predictions, we'd say that we don't think
Juno's gonna win as big as everyone else seems to (even though we liked it).
No Country just smells like Oscar to us, always has (even though we didn't much care for it). Shut out for
Atonement in the non-technical categories -- there's too much competition for little Saorise, too bad -- and
There Will Be Blood will go down as this year's
Raging Bull: a Best Actor award that night and feverish, reverent worship forevermore. Oh, and Jon Stewart: so-so (even though we love him).
[via Defamer]