All right, so chances are you're not so pleased right now with the state of Texas -- even if only for guaranteeing that we gotta go through, like, 7 more weeks of this Obama/Clinton horseshit. Well, how do you think Texans feel about it? You don't think they'd have liked to have been, as one of their least-loved semi-sons might have put it, "The Decider"? Well, at least now they've finally got the right to fuck the pain away with whatever the hell sex toy they can get their ballot-stained fingers around.
Just two weeks ago a federal appeals court struck down the old-fashioned law that made it illegal for Texans to sell (and thus buy) sex toys for sexual purposes (as opposed to, say, medical instruction). You also weren't allowed to own more than six devices, because such a collection would be considered promotion--so you were screwed (or would that be weren't screwed?) if you just happened to like a vibrator on a Monday, a dildo on a Tuesday, a G-spotter on a Wed, and so on...
Now, as some of you may know, we (meaning me, Scanner Bryan) used to live in Texas, and frankly we never even knew that this law existed for all the vibrators floating around. They were everywhere, man, so much so that we can hardly believe that they were illegal or anything. Jeez, next thing you're gonna tell us is weed's illegal, too! Mwah, that's rich.
[Img via The Stockroom, who are still having their big Independence Sale]
Previously: Texas Crawls Toward the 19th Century: Sex Toys Legalized