Is David Paterson the Staten Island Ninja Burglar?
What does it say when this whole Gov-luv affair has gotten so out of hand that you might actually have believed the part about the ninja? Well, New York's Lt. Gov may not be a ninja, and is probably not frequenting too many prostitutes (we hope, for the sake of the state), but the emerging details on Eliot Spitzer's personal life have been unbelievably absurd...
The man spent 80,000 clams on hookers... eight thousand American dollars? What does one buy with 80,000 American dollars anymore? (Okay, okay, we hear your jokes about "that could only buy you a blowjob, at best, in today's economy." Hardy har har.)
He is going to be in the divorce trial of the century-- three teenage daughters, a pissed off wife, money hidden (possibly) all over the country (you don't really think he got that $80G out of his salary, do you?), mistresses to come forward, his whole history of convictions against prostitution rings and even Wall Street will be questioned, as his ethics are looked into, and the State of New York will continue its downward spiral until New York City (yay!) is forced to secede from the Union. Which would rock.
Spitzer is expected to resign at any moment, but we'll keep you posted...
UPDATE: The Luv Gov to resign at 11:30am (EST) news conference...
UPDATE: The Luv Gov is about to be live on CNN. David Paterson, the Lt. Governor, is the first blind Governor and only the third black Governor since Reconstruction (i.e. fucking ever.) CNN reports that signs of "money laundering led [the FBI] to a wiretap" in which they ensnared the Governor in a prostitution-related phone call. He could be charged with a crime by the US Attorney's office any day now, which is apparently the main reason he is going to resign. CNN also claims that the First Lady of New York wanted him to stay the course. Not sure she will stay the course. (11:40AM.)
UPDATE: Spitz resigned at 11:45-ish AM. Paterson will assume the helm on St. Patrick's Day, although he is not Irish.
UPDATE: The New York Post is reporting that Eliot Spitzer has used hookers at least since 2002.
[Photo: NY Daily News]
[Previously on Scanner: Deep "That's What SHE Said" Thoughts On... Spitzer]