Leave it to comedians Chris Rock, Pauly Shore, and Pat Buchanan to get all racist about the Obama speech on racism. (Wait a minute... one of those guys isn't a comedian! And Pat Buchanan isn't funny either....)
Shore was videotaped whining that he's not successful because he's "not black," and "I need to be black, because if I was black, I'd be doing good...
I mean, all the black comedians are doing good. You have D.L. Hughley, you have Monique, Cedric the Entertainer, Martin Lawrence, Charlie Murphy. White people are screwed. Especially in my industry, they're screwed. White people are going to be picking cotton within, like, literally within three years." Sadly, he was serious.
Well, duuuhh... that's because he's not a comedian. Certainly not a comic in the same panethon as Chris Rock-- that is, a brilliant young man who we'd bet our bottom dollar had something intelligent to say about all this "Black Man For President" fuss:
"I don't think a black woman can be first lady of the United States. Yeah, I said it! A black woman can be president, no problem. First lady? Can't do it. You know why? Because a black woman cannot play the background of a relationship. Just imagine telling your black wife that you're president? 'Honey, I did it! I won! I'm the president.' 'No, we the president! And I want my girlfriends in the Cabinet! I want Kiki to be secretary of state! She can fight!'" [Rolling Stone, via PageSix]
Pat Buchanan caused a minor stir, mainly because Scanner Brian is the only person who actually watches The McLaughlin Group, for his insightful comments into the state of race relations in this country:
America has been the best country on earth for black folks. It was here that 600,000 black people, brought from Africa in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity blacks have ever known. [via Buchanan's blog, which we won't link to under any circumstances]
We're laughing so hard about that opening line that we almost forgot to add a few more things:
There was even a racist hubbub at Fox News, home of humorist and feminist Bill O'Reilly, where infighting led to walkoffs and smackdowns. Yawn.
And on Sunday, we read an interview with Kris Kristofferson, wherein he quotes a country music DJ who said the problem with MLK's assassination was that there weren't enough bullets for Jesse Jackson as well. But the DJ can be excused, apparently, because he's not a comedian. Again, we're not sure what Pauly Shore's excuse is...
[Image via BuddyTV]