Register Now!

Media

  • scannerscanner
  • scannerscreengrab
  • modern materialistthe modern
    materialist
  • video61 frames
    per second
  • videothe remote
    island
  • date machinedate
    machine

Photo

  • sliceslice
    with m. sharkey
  • paper airplane crushpaper
    airplane crush
  • autumn blogautumn
  • brandonlandbrandonland
  • chasechase
  • rose & oliverose & olive
Scanner
Your daily cup of WTF?
ScreenGrab
The Hooksexup Film Blog
Slice
Each month a new artist; each image a new angle. This month: M. Sharkey.
ScreenGrab
The Hooksexup Film Blog
Autumn
A fashionable L.A. photo editor exploring all manner of hyper-sexual girls down south.
The Modern Materialist
Almost everything you want.
Paper Airplane Crush
A San Francisco photographer on the eternal search for the girls of summer.
Rose & Olive
Houston neighbors pull back the curtains and expose each other's lives.
chase
The creator of Supercult.com poses his pretty posse.
The Remote Island
Hooksexup's TV blog.
Brandonland
A California boy capturing beach parties, sunsets and plenty of skin.
61 Frames Per Second
Smarter gaming.
Date Machine
Putting your baggage to good use.

Scanner

True Love Will Find You In The End... If You're A Swan

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Remember the story we told you about last week? The saddest breakup story ever? Well, maybe it was a breakup like the Carrie-Mr. Big breakups always are...

Yahoo!/Odd News is reporting on this breaking news: The black swan has been dumped by her new lover and may be moving back in with the giant wooden boat.

Huh? you're saying, apparently the only person on earth who hasn't heard about the black German swan and her epic love affair with a white wooden swan-shaped pedal boat. Petra fell for the Berlin lake's tied-up boat in 2006, was housed with the lovely piece of manmade beauty in an indoor zoo through the last winter, and stayed with her "man" through these past few months. Last week, we reported that the lovebirds (Scanner Emily, the only blogger here knowledgeable enough about animals and animal sex to confirm or deny any speculation about whether this metaphor is heavy handed) had split up after Petra fell for a real-life white swan.

Her lover, who we're sure lured Petra away only because he wanted what he couldn't have, snatched her up but quickly realized he's just a douche. Reports indicate the new man quickly broke up with Petra and ran away to be with the rest of the whiteys. (There's a metaphor for Barack Obama's recent speech here, but maybe we're too lazy to see it.)

A zoo statement says that Petra "appears to feel lonely" and is swimming around in an agitated state. The solution? On Friday, she will be taken back to the nearby lake and her faithful paddleboat. [Yahoo]

See, people? Even with a seemingly rock-solid marriage like Robin Williams's coming to a close after 19 years, there is still reason to have faith in the possibilities... 

Previously: Swan Love Story Saddest Breakup Ever


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

No Comments

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

in

about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

Send us links!


Tags

we recommend

partners

IN THE MODERN MATERIALIST



IN SCREENGRAB



IN THE REMOTE ISLAND



IN 61FPS



IN DATE MACHINE