One month ago today, on Steak And Blow Job Day—the day on which women were to shower their men with both red meat and head—to even the playing field, we declared today, April 14, Salad and Cunnilingus Day. Some of you thought it was unfair, considering Steak And Blow Job Day was originally created to give the men a break after Valentine's Day. To that we say "phooey." In part because we kind-of hate Valentine's Day and in part because who said February 14 was all about men doing things for women? Either way, as much as we love salad—and steak!—some clever ladies were already a step or two ahead of us.
Today is officially (if having an eponymous website makes something official) Cake and Cunnilingus Day.
Why? Well, as some enterprising men have declared March 14 to be "Steak and Blowjob Day", we women thought we'd get in on the act as well, a month later.
Cake and Cunnilingus Day is about celebrating female pleasure. It's about putting our orgasms on the agenda and demanding pleasure equality! It's about lying back and gorging on chocolate mud cake while our lover sticks his eager tongue into our pussy!
Valentine's Day is for lovers, no matter what their gender. It's about emotion, about committment [sic], about relationships.
Cake and Cunnilingus Day is a little more carnally obsessed. Forget the roses! This day puts the focus on women, their sexuality... and their tastebuds!
Of course, it doesn't have to be all about cake. If you're so inclined you're welcome to celebrate Muffins and Muff Diving Day. Or Pudding and Pussy Licking Day. Or even Candy and Clit Licking Day. The important thing is that our coochies get the oral treatment they deserve!
We'll take steak and cunnilingus, followed by some cake, thank you very much.
[Cake and Cunnilingus Day]
[Previously: Have a steak and blow job today. No, really. We insist.]
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