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"Paris Hilton's Vagina Bites Penguin" And Other Classic Celebrity Spam Headlines

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Mainly because it's Friday and we're burnt out from a romantic concert by Dean & Britta last night, we found this Top 10 List of Celebrity Spam bizarrely hilarious...

  • 10) Britney Spears Admits “My Vagina Made Me Shave My Head Bald”
  • 9) Angelina Jolie’s Lips Explode
  • 8) Sarah Jessica Parker Arrested For Gross Negligee
  • 7) Britney Spears Shoots Down American Spy Satellite With Her Vagina
  • 6) Angelina Jolie Set To Destroy Own Vagina
  • 5) Britney Spears: “Yes, I tried to suck the shine off a bumper”
  • 4) BREAKING NEWS: Mike Tyson To Fight Michael Jackson (oh, please, let this be true!)
  • 3) LiLo heartbroken as Diana’s Butler beds Winehouse
  • 2) Paris Hilton Becomes Nun
  • 1) Aliens Deny Impregnating Paris Hilton

Also: Paris Hilton's Vagina Bites Penguin, Britney Spears Is Actually A Piece Of Broccoli, Britney Spears Applies For Barack Obama Masseuse Job, Britney Spears Recording New Album - Forgotten How To Sing (unfortunately, this one's probably not true), Paris Hilton Dogs Paris Hilton With Lawsuit, Britney Spears Not Bipolar - New World Order Conspiracy Afoot, Paris Hilton denies screwing Ron Paul, Paris Hilton: "I'm Still A Summer Virgin," and Aliens Kidnapped By Michael Jackson. (We're taking it they meant "Alien Babies...")

A couple of these were not celebrity-related, but too good to pass up. MSNBC: Couple Plans Breakup In 2009 and BREAKING NEWS: "I Ate All The Pies," Man Confesses.

Several of these are taken from this post.

 

Related:

Somebody Wants To Invade Our Vaginas

Top 10 Spam Euphemisms For Your Small Willy

Security Breach Means More Spam For Porn Customers

I Made It Into Spam; Now I Can Die A Happy Man

Top 10 Things Younger Than John McCain


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

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About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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