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Top 10 Most Famous Penises In Human History

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Pop quiz, kid... whose dick is this movie star talking about:

"He only weighs 120, but 100 pounds is cock..."

The answer, according to today's Frisky story Seven Famous Penises in History, is, of course, Frank Sinatra...

1. John Holmes... like some Madonna-lovin' the mufucka, he's diggin' tunnels...

2. Napoleon... he had a complex for a reason, people...

3. John Wayne Bobbitt... who really doesn't wanna be here...

4. David by Michelangelo... the most viewed penis... even more so than Pete Wentz's!

5. Sinatra... who, if he'd done nothing else, would have at least got to be the subject of Ava Gardner's greatest quote...

6. The Minister in "The Little Mermaid"... with his animated boner. Thanks, Disney!

7. Rasputin... maybe they couldn't kill him because of his superhuman dong...

We'd like to add three more to make it an even Top 10:

Milton Berle - a lot of people today don't remember Uncle Milty... unless they remember the name as a euphemism for something large and dangling...

Dirk Diggler - we'd have put Marky Mark, but he was wearing a prosthetic schlong in Boogie Nights...

Michael Jackson - Jacko's Johnson apparently has spots all over it that only a molested boy would know... so why did no one believe this kid when he described them exactly in a court appearance?

Oh, and one more: Jimi Hendrix and his little wing big thing:


Anyway, you can read the full 7 previously mentioned, with amusing stories about each, at The Frisky.

 

Related:

Artist's Penis Commits World's Largest Indecent Exposure

"This Is The City's Response To A Penis" One of Many Classic Moments From Nude Gallery Raid

You Asked for a Penis Poll, You Got It

Don't Miss: The Icelandic Penis Museum

Baby Born With Extra Penis, Parents Have it Removed Why?

Crush of the Week: Pete Wentz


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

borstalboy said:

Where the hell is Chad Hunt?   I can't be the only person in the world who watches gay porn?  Jesus!!

August 26, 2008 10:44 AM

wundersmack said:

What?  No photos?  That is just irresponsible journalism.

August 26, 2008 11:58 AM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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