You know we're kidding when we used the words "stopped" and "broken" in that headline, right?
College President (not the student-elected kind) Robert Paxton was at a July 4th lake party when he was caught in the above photo helping a lovely young lass with her beverage:
"If you want to know the truth, the thing was broken," he said. "I never opened the tap on any keg."
Asked what he was doing with the keg suspended over the woman's open mouth, Paxton said: "Nothing. The thing didn't work. I was laughing at them. You know, if I was doing anything, I was grabbing it and trying to put it back down."
Uhhh... right. So that explains the fact that you are working the tap itself... how?
Wisely, Paxton decided not to fight the charges raised by his own Iowa Central Community College board and simply walked off the job, collecting hundreds of thousands of dollars on his way out. Amazingly, though, the story of how Paxton got a bunch of his underage son's friends drunk doesn't end there:
Paxton also denied that his 19-year-old son was drinking that day, yet police records show the young Paxton was picked up for a DUI charge later that evening. [DeadSpin]
Wow. This guy is the worst liar ever. Good riddance... after all, underage kids don't need you to help with their beer, creepy old dude.
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