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While You Were Sleeping: Human Evolution Ended

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

You won't see a better headline all day: "ZZ Top regrets snake tour." And yes, it's worth reading beyond the title for the story of those snakes.

Eric Clapton is selling 13 shotguns. The news here? Eric Clapton is a scary, scary mofo.

Even when she finally got it together to get her own driver, Britney Spears still can't escape trouble on the road...

Accident-prone Britney Spears was reportedly involved in another car crash after she was pursued by the waiting paparazzi in California.

The star - who is due to stand trial after she was caught driving without a license last year - was being chauffeured through West Hollywood when a photographer's car collided with her vehicle, reports celebrity website TMZ.com. [Starpulse]

A Brooklyn, NY arts space has introduced the floating brothel. Unfortunately, it's only for actors.

We're not making up this summary: a South Australian man is believed to have impregnated 30 lesbians. Now, the local community is worried about accidental incest....

And one scientist claims that because old men aren't having as much sex with young lasses anymore, human beings are no longer evolving. We failed science, so trust us, it makes a lot more sense when you just read the article.

A British couple proves recycling is super awesome. Or that airline tickets are super cheap if it involves travel to third world countries, such as the United States. (Again, just read it, you'll see what we mean.)

 

Related:

Reason #8,847 Not To Sleep With A Bali Hooker...

Man Buys Camera On Ebay, Finds Treasure Trove Of MI6 Secret Documents

Man Claims He Was Robbed By Gang Of Topless Women

Sloppy Seconds: Pete Wentz Puts His Money Where His Penis is Not

Because It's Never Too Early to Start Thinking About Slutty Halloween Costumes


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About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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