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Man Claims He Was Robbed By Gang Of Topless Women

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

A man in Martin County, Florida told the police he was roughed up and robbed of $100 in cash by a gang of shirtless, braless women.

The man insisted that he had been awake the entire time and was not making this up...

Here's the rundown: Olmar Morales, 18, was riding his bike to work on Saturday morning when a woman wearing overalls jumped out of nowhere and grabbed his, um, handle bar. Instantly, another four women surrounded him and took $100 from his back pocket. Riiiighht...

As if this story were unbelievable already, Morales claims that although the overall-wearing one was overweight and unattractive, the foursome were "thin and blond" and wore "overalls with no shirts and no bras." (The suspect could not positively identify Keira Knightley, seen above, as one of the suspects.) 

The kicker-- the cops arrived at the scene soon after and could not find any of these alleged blondes in the area. Hmmm...

Sounds like he spent his 100 on a lap dance and then reported it stolen...

Right! This article left out one significant sentence....."and then he woke up".

Sounds like a Candid Camera episode complete with the clown car song playing in the background.

...that's pretty much the local reaction... and ours, as well...

Via TCPalm.

 

Related:

Teenage Girls Flash, Fondle and Then Rob the Crap Out of British Men

Are You One Of The Sexy People?

My Life Just Flashed Before My Eyes: The Evolution of the Cell Phone

Celebrity Hero of the Day: Keira Knightley, With Her Modest Bosom

"I Seem To Have Forgotten To Bathe For Two Days"

Sarah Silverman Would Like You to Schlep Your Jew Ass To Florida...


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About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one . . . so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

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