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Sloppy Seconds: Charlie Sheen Denies Enjoying Endless Lapdances

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Barack Obama is up to 364 electoral votes after winning North Carolina. Meanwhile, Oregon has a new Democratic Senator.

Anti-Prop 8 people rioted in the streets of California, which is today the most bigoted, shameful state in the union. Fall Out Boy's Patrick Stump: "It's a real shame people are mixing up their church and state."

Joe Jonas didn't deserve her awesomeness anyway...

Ellen DeGeneres

says on her talk show (airing Nov. 11), “He broke up with you on the phone? That’s not right.”

Taylor responds; “It’s all right - I’m cool. You know what, it’s like, when I find that person that is right for me, he’ll be wonderful When I look at that person, I’m not even going to remember the boy who broke up with me over the phone in 27 seconds when I was 18.”

Ellen was shocked by Taylor’s honesty, saying, “No, you did not. Aw, snap!” [Just Jared]

We can't say we disagree with London's decision to ban smokers from adopting children, although we wish people would spend more time trying to actually get orphans adopted.

We're still trying to figure out why this creep falls so quickly after trying to attack a girl in an elevator, but we're happy watching it over and over again just to see the ass kicking he deservedly receives.

Charlie Sheen denies a report that he was enjoying lapdances recently, perhaps because he has pregnant wife at home.

Evan Rachel Wood finally came to her senses and dumped Marilyn Manson.

 

Related:

Hero of the Day: Girl Who Talked Her Way Out of a Kidnapping

While You Were Sleeping: The Trial of Keanu Reeves

Britney Spears Is (Almost) Not Completely Repulsive In Her New Video

Sloppy Seconds: The Evangelical Sex Craze


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Comments

blondage said:

"which is today the most bigoted, shameful state in the union"

Oh yeah? So gay marriage is legal in New York? Unless you live in Mass. or Conn., where the hell do you get off thinking that CA is any worse than your damned state on this issue? At least it was CLOSE here - it would likely not gain legality in New York right now, nor in most states, as sad as that is. People in LA where I live are so upset that they are literally RIOTING IN THE STREETS, so stop being a self righteous jackass and saying things that make people like me, who gave money and worked phone banks and are queer identified, feel even worse than we do over this situation. Do you not think that 90% of your readership from CA voted against prop 8? What is wrong with you?

November 6, 2008 5:46 PM

Brian Fairbanks said:

I figured somebody would misinterpret that. What I meant was exactly what I said: "today California is the most bigoted." Don't worry, I haven't forgotten Arizona and Florida and everywhere else that has attacked gay marriage. It was meant to be a shame on you, California thing. For example: the Nina Simone song "Mississippi Goddamn" doesn't attack the black and pro-civil rights Mississippi folks, obviously. It's meant to be a shaming statement-- shame on you, Mississippi, for what you have done. And that's what I say-- do the Californians who voted for Prop 8 realize they are today's equivalent of Mississippi in 1964?

Let's hope it's not too late to save gay marriage for this generation. California, there's still time to save yourselves from setting us back another thousand years...

November 6, 2008 6:27 PM

Ray said:

As an SF local looking out upon the rest of my state, all I can say is that I'm not surprised, but I'm still disappointed...also the mormons are to blame...and all of southern california...

I don't believe in marriage, but as I've been telling everyone, if gay people wanna ruin their lives, why should the state stand in their way?

November 6, 2008 7:17 PM

blondage said:

You figured someone would misinterpret it, eh? So you actually *do* think before you post things? Maybe you should pay a little more attention to that intuition, lest you continue to dig yourself a deeper hole.

November 6, 2008 7:22 PM

Lisa said:

I imagine if I were a child in foster care, I would be a whole lot happier with parents who smoke, or parents who are gay, or parents who are unmarried, or, gee, any parents at all.  Funny how the people who are sooo against gay and lesbians having children haven't adopted any unwanted children themselves.  

November 7, 2008 2:26 PM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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