1. Mormons
2. Abstinence
3. There’s a better vampire movie you should be watching
Reason #1: Never let devout religious people teach or describe sex to you. It’s like having George Bush explain his foreign policy (a bunch of cautionary bullshit and no results). Stephanie Meyer is a Mormon. Yes, those guys who helped spearhead the anti-gay “Yes on Prop 8” campaign… and by the way, who the hell are they to talk about marriage?
How Mormon is she?
Well, she did get her writing degree at Brigham Young University.
Reason #2: Abstinence is not the answer. Just ask Sarah Palin how well it works. And furthermore does it ever make for good entertainment? Meyer substitutes a teenage vampire boy’s horny desires for his thirst for blood in a thinly veiled metaphor that’s supposed to teach “us” (parents and their confused teens, of which we are neither, admittedly) about “our” carnal urges.
Reason #3: Nine times out of ten there’s always a better movie out there than the one you’re watching. Not that our readers are knocking down theater doors to get to this holiday blockbuster (which they keep urging us to refer to as “the next Harry Potter”), but if you are in the mood for an entertaining vampire movie try Let The Right One In, still in theaters. A super hip and smart Swedish film (also based on a novel, not written by a Mormon) that tells the dark and soulful story of a little kid vampire. And it’s rated R the way all vampire movies should be.
Related:
"The Real World: Facebook" or Scanner Emily vs. The Mormons
Photo: NYT