We understand the tryptophanic coma has long worn off and the last thing you might want to ponder is that giant gallinaceous bird, but as promised the experiment has been conducted and the results of the great turkey trifecta recorded.
Bird # 1: Roasted
We'll start with the roasted. The traditional baked turkey we will use as the control group in which to compare other turkeys prepared in more unconventional ways. This turkey was stuffed and basted in classic style and came out perfectly delicious as always. It's the thanksgiving purists' poultry and serves its purpose best as it pairs well with the starchier prototypical side dishes: mashed potatoes, stuffing, dinner rolls etc...
Bird # 2: Smoked
A much easier process than expected. This turkey spent twelve hours in a honey-brine bath, was stuffed with apples, lemons and thyme and rubbed with canola oil before sitting on a closed outdoor grill for four hours while small foil pouches of soaked hickory chips surrounded the bird with aromatic smoke. The result? It tasted a lot like ham actually. The flesh takes on a pinkish hue and due to the brine it was sweet and juicy. Turkey prepared in this style is best with cranberry sauce and sweet potatoes or butternut squash. And the drippings make for an amazing gravy. We highly suggest giving this one a try, a worthy contender for your Christmas menu.
Bird # 3: Deep Fried
This is a ridiculous and Hooksexup-wracking process if it's your first time (which it was) and a testament to America's gluttonous obsession with deep frying anything from candy bars to pig skin. We dry-rubbed this avian with lots of salt, pepper, crushed bay leaves, garlic powder and cajun seasoning then dropped it in a vat of boiling fat (my father and I hung it from a broomstick as we carefully lowered the turkey very slowly into the bubbling oil, then fished it out forty-fives minutes later). The crisp spiced skin was exquisite. The white meat was a little dry, but the dark was tender and flavorful. Although delicious, this turkey called for corn on the cob, collard greens and biscuits, the overall summer barbeque fare you'd expect to eat with such a southern influenced style of cooking. It's also very dangerous, which makes the meal all the more victorious when you escape with your life.
Conclusion:
The smoked turkey was the most impressive with the deep fried at a very close second, but obviously this pertains to one's predilection especially as we are dealing with very familiar tastes to the American palette. How do you like your meat? Smoked, fried or roasted? It's as simple as that, but worth the experiment.
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Photos/Jason Lombardi