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Droves of Students Coming Forward to Testify Against Skank Teacher

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

The victims would like to assure us that she was a lot hotter pre-mugshot...

The trial of Sandy Brinkley, a public high school teacher, is taking the state of Tennessee by storm.

Yesterday went off like gangbusters for the prosecution, with three-- count 'em, three!-- male students coming forward to testify about getting it on with their math teacher. Jesus-- another math teacher-- who knew they had it in 'em?

One of the lead witnesses for the prosecution is a seventeen-year-old boy who served as Brinkley's teacher's aide. She had sex with him on the desk in the girl's volleyball office. Ah, every male's #1 fantasy right there-- except, of course, this kid... who told his parents he had sex with his teacher, which immediately caused our minds to spontaneously combust. 

(While we completely understand that he might feel that he was molested and that he should report her to the proper authorities... but to tell your parents first? We don't even want to think about the words "sex" and "parents" in the same sentence, let alone to tell them straight out, without warning, what's been going on.)

Another student made the mistake of taking his shirt off around Brinkley and they either had sex in her new truck or in her house while her family (yep, she's a married woman, apparently) was at church. Same for the third victim.

The best part of all this is that Brinkley claims she was raped by the first student and the other two are just covering for her. For perhaps the first time ever, the justice system isn't falling for that claptrap: no one is investigating these kids for some sort of vast high school boys conspiracy club.

We'll have more as this story continues...

 

Related:

Teacher Arrested For Possession of Drugs, Terrible Goatee

 

9-Year-Old Boy Teaches You How To Pick Up Girls

 

"Step Right Up! Enter Our Prostitution Raffle..."

 

Louisiana Teacher Gets Closer to Student By Sleeping with His Father

 

MySpace Actually Good For Something After All...


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About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

in

about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one . . . so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

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