Hi! It's the Monday after Christmas (or "the holidays" or whatever), and while its entirely possible that you can think of nothing worse than having to be at work right now, it's also entirely possible that you're something like me and your "holiday" was something like mine, and you therefore know that the only thing worse than having to be at work right now would be having to be at home right now.
So, in the interest of getting all my family greivances passive-aggressively off my chest, here goes nothing.
5. When in doubt, give your family alcohol for Christmas.
4. If, while on vacation, you find yourself calling your office at 5:37AM (generously taking into account the 3-hour time difference) on a Saturday and discussing the news of the day in a coarse whisper from underneath the covers of the living room pull-out couch, make a mental note to cut all future family visits in half. Obey this note.
3. It is a universal truth that family vacations cause the flu.
2. When put in the impossible-to-please position of family drama mediator, quote possibly imaginary ancient chinese proverbs such as: "It is better to be soft as seaweed than hard as rock." One's self-righteousness is less insulting that way.
1. The listicle was invented by someone on a Sunday night, most likely coming off a 10-day family vacation.
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