So this is 2009. So far, so good. We're going to use the next few days to accidentally write "2008" on everything and take a look back at the year that was. You can expect the top 10 Scanner posts of 2008 on Monday. But first, as promised, Scanner Emily's top 10 lessons learned in 2008, including—unfortunately—a repeat from last year. Seriously, how many times must we humiliate ourselves online before learning that drinking and Facebook do not mix?
10. Even when you think you're eating sort-of maybe healthily, you're not, you fat fuck.
9. Everyone has daddy issues, okay?
8. Always, always, always back-up what's on your computer (not that we've actually gotten around to it yet).
7. You can always go home.
6. Don't fool yourself into thinking the only way to get The Herp at summer camp is by making out with a hot co-counselor in the art barn. It is not. (And If you have to make jokes about being the oldest camp counselor in the history of the world, you just might be.)
5. It is possible to attend the costume party of your dreams and actually have a blast. If you have not yet experienced this, keep the dream alive and don't throw away those ruffly bloomers you've been holding on to for just such an occasion.
4. Whiskey will not make you a better roller skater. Well, it won't make you better at stopping, anyway.
3. Yellow tights are super unflattering and will get you weird looks even in the Bellevue emergency room.
2. Never, ever try to use The Facebook on your phoneputer while totally shit-faced drunk. (Yes, we thought we learned this one in 2007.)
1. If your ex-boyfriend asks if he can write an article about you for the local alternative weekly, say no.
Related:
And They Said It Wouldn't Last
Top 10 Childish Things We Wish We Could Get Away With as Adults