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Website Tracks the Worst Personal Ads From Desperate Dudes

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Why Women Hate Men is another one of these websites/blogs designed by guys who are trying to impress women by how much they, too, "despise all the loser single dudes out there so pick me pick me!" 

We must point out that, like all men, the individual purporting to be this site's webmaster is a dangerous degenerate. And if you think I'm being sarcastic or "humorous," you are sadly, sadly mistaken. (See above photo of owner for explanation.)

Here are some of this individuals examples of "why women remain single." We thought it was because moving costs are skyrocketing, but it shows you what we know about dating:

feeling very needy right now-39M

my girlfreind left me for another man leaving me all alone, Do you want to be helper in making my life better, I need someone to take care of me and cook for me help me wash my clothes and help me going to work until my car is fixed. I am 6 feet tall and avergae sized, would like to meet women, and please have car for work, i will try and help you pay you back. i am alergic to cats also so don't have cats

 

ALLOW ME TO HELP SOLVE YOUR HUSBANDS INFERTILITY PROBLEM

I am a 56 year old male. I have decided to get a vasectomy next month and I would like to impregnate a woman before I have this procedure done. It would behoove you to act quickly for maximum exposure to my sperm. I will only do this naturally without condoms. If your husband can't do the job, I can.

Having been asked previously by several couples who were friends of mine to donate sperm, I learned from their doctors that I have an extreme sperm level. I can give you multiple loads of sperm per meeting to increase your chances of getting pregnant.


Many of my physical traits are influenced by recessive genes. Therefore, it is most likely that the child would resemble the mother in most instances. It will be easy to deceive your family and friends into thinking it is your husbands child. It will be our secret. You will not see me again.

If you are 18-24, healthy, attractive, I am available to you. I will be very attentive, supportive, and encouraging, during this process. My vasectomy is in 5 weeks so it would behoove you to contact me as soon as possible.

 

Just a shot in the dark here, but I've been trying out VigRX for a little while now, and I do notice that I'm getting harder and longer lasting erections (while in self-satisfying mode). It's supposed to be a penis enlargement pill, but apparently it has viagra like qualities as well. I do feel a lot harder. Before, I couldn't keep it up for very long with my girlfriend, but now I think that it might be helping.

Was wondering if any ladies out there would like to help me give it a test run before I try it on my girlfriend. She won't be back for a week so I just want to make sure. Steven XXX-XXX-XXXX

 

I Know How To Make You Cum. Even If You Haven't Before.

And I know how to do it too. I got some pointers listening to some woman on a talk radio show. Listeners called in. They asked questions and she gave good advice. I listened and took good notes. Now I know how to make women squirt. I can get you there even if you've never been able to experience your "Big-O" in the past. I'm available to host or travel. David XXX-XXX-XXXX

 

And two more from other sites:

“Here’s my problem: I just adore mature women at least my age or that tend to be 10-15 years my senior. I am baffled by the “type” of rejection that I have been getting lately. Now for the fourth time a woman has told me that I am “too handsome for her” and for that reason she told me that she’s not interested. Can some of you women tell me how this can be? It just doesn’t make sense to me.”

 

“Morning. I woke up with a random idea to get some drinks this morning. Any girls interested? I’m not looking for anything in particular, just a new friend to enjoy a couple drinks with (i’ll buy of course). I’m well educated, have an amazing job and enjoy meeting new people. Would love to go to one of the 6am bars soon.”

 

There are 6am bars?! See you losers later, I'm heading there now to meet an amazing girl who can handle my unrestrained handsomeness...

Via Why Women Hate Men.

 

Related:

Why Didn't We Think of That?: The Sex and Violence Shop

Doctor Sex is the New Teacher Sex

Smiths Speed Dating Really Happened

I Feel Bad About Your Chin, Meg Ryan

Wife Catch You Online Dating? Try Ashley Madison


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

gregbataille14 said:

Isn't the audacity sort of charming in its way?

and aren't deluded, self-serving personal ad requests common in both genders?

And are the plethora of women "seeking $ugardaddies" any less degenerate, simply because they are more likely to find what they are searching for?

February 5, 2009 10:53 PM

thinkywritey said:

I think those of us who are making serious attempts to use personals in real world ways ignore the "hey hot mama I can satisfy yoooou in ways you never dreeaaaamed (please have a car)" ads. Far worse, in my opinion, are the people on "real" personals systems who don't bother reading the elaborate profile the systems sometimes make a user fill out only to email me with something like "hi how r u wut do u do for fun?" THAT is why I'll never meet anyone online.

February 6, 2009 10:28 AM

Weasel said:

Hey , thanks for the link guys.

A little clarification. That's NOT me in the photo. My photo is actually posted on the site a little further down. Since WWHM's inception, readers send me pics of disgusting guys that I post on occasion.

Second, if you think I'm trying to "impress" women, you're a bit deluded. I started WWHM after a dinner with a group of friends. The women were taking about horrible personal ads they had seen. They ARE horrible, unbelievably so. They started sending them to me, I wrote commentary, and circulated it back to them, who LOVED it. I had 10 readers. A month later, I had 5,000.

WWHM is a COMEDY site, nothing more. I'm a technical writer, and a comedy writer on the side. I have a longtime girlfriend. You may not find it funny personally, but I have a huge following of women (80% feamle) who would disagree with you. Do I court them? No. Do I fuck them? No. I entertain them.

If that makes me a degenerate, so be it.

February 7, 2009 7:48 PM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

in

about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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