Register Now!

Media

  • scannerscanner
  • scannerscreengrab
  • modern materialistthe modern
    materialist
  • video61 frames
    per second
  • videothe remote
    island
  • date machinedate
    machine

Photo

  • sliceslice
    with
    transgressica
  • paper airplane crushpaper
    airplane crush
  • autumn blogautumn
  • brandonlandbrandonland
  • chasechase
  • rose & oliverose & olive
Scanner
Your daily cup of WTF?
ScreenGrab
The Hooksexup Film Blog
Slice
Each month a new artist; each image a new angle. This month: Transgressica.
ScreenGrab
The Hooksexup Film Blog
Autumn
A fashionable L.A. photo editor exploring all manner of hyper-sexual girls down south.
The Modern Materialist
Almost everything you want.
Paper Airplane Crush
A San Francisco photographer on the eternal search for the girls of summer.
Rose & Olive
Houston neighbors pull back the curtains and expose each other's lives.
chase
The creator of Supercult.com poses his pretty posse.
The Remote Island
Hooksexup's TV blog.
Brandonland
A California boy capturing beach parties, sunsets and plenty of skin.
61 Frames Per Second
Smarter gaming.
Date Machine
Putting your baggage to good use.

Scanner

Sexytime Shopping List

Posted by Emily Farris


Whenever I start seeing someone new one of the first things I notice is how ill equipped my medicine cabinet has gotten during the proceeding dry spell. For example, let's say I bring a dashing bearded man back to my apartment, and excuse myself momentarily to freshen up only to realize that I used the last of the Listerine before the date. Or what about those nasty razor bumps that pop up after all of that dry humping—because of course you will shave your legs and bikini line before the date, which only makes you realize you've been using the same dull razor blade for a month-and-a-half because (shit!) it was the last one in the pack. My list after the jump.

New Toothbrush
This is good for a few reasons. First of all you don't really want him to open your medicine cabinet only to see your frayed, lipstick colored toothbrush, splayed out on the less-than-clean shelf. Second, if he stays the night and has to go to work the next day, you either have a new clean toothbrush you can let him use, or (worst case scenario) you can say "Gee, I only have this one" and hand off the lipstick stained one. Also, doesn't it just make your mouth feel all clean and fresh when you use a brand new toothbrush? Plus, it's probably just time you get a new toothbrush, right?

A New Tube of Toothpaste
I generally use Tom's of Maine baking soda toothpaste, but when I know there's lots of making out in my future, I switch to the strong stuff, chemicals be damned.

Listerine
Because you and I both know you need to rinse out that dirty mouth of yours before and after sex.

Tend Skin
Ladies, if you've never heard of this product, you will thank me later. This magic potion will make your razor bumps disappear, like, pronto. It's a little pricey, but totally worth the cost. And as previously mentioned, razor burn is easily exacerbated with new forms of friction. (The tiniest dab of this on the end of a cotton swab will dry up a pimple in no time, too. But seriously, just a dab right on the spot unless you want your face to flake off all over your date.)

Bikini Razors
These tiny little razors are great for those hard-to-reach places you'd never take your Intuition (but don't forget the Tend Skin after you reach those places).

Personal Cleansing Cloths
Or as I like to call them, ass wipes. Keep a pack in your purse and a pack in the bathroom. You'll thank me later.

New Razors or Razor Blades
Natch.

Mascara
Something about a new tube of black mascara always makes me feel extra vampy.

Condoms
Duh. Is your stash old? Then get new ones. And get a lot of them because if the rest of what's on the list does what it's supposed to, you'll be flying through them. 

What's on your list?

Related:

Shopping for the Perfect Bra to Carry Your Mangoes?

Holiday Shopping Tips From A Stripper

While You Were Sleeping: Your Shopping Bag Is Sexist, Dude

Dirty, Sexy Shopping


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Monique said:

Em, (is it okay to call you Em or do you hate it?) how excited would you be to find this men's anti-wetness powder in your bearded god's bathroom? https://www.ballapowder.com/

February 19, 2009 11:26 AM

Emily Farris said:

It's totally okay to call me Em, and I love it. BUT, um, what if I get a little in my mouth?

February 19, 2009 12:11 PM

Monique said:

You'd probably be okay unless it was the Balla Tingle. www.thrillist.com/.../balla-tingle-powder

February 19, 2009 2:05 PM

totalblamblam said:

Where is Tend Skin sold? I've never seen it in these parts (CA).

February 19, 2009 2:52 PM

Emily Farris said:

You can get it at drugstore.com www.drugstore.com/.../prod.asp

February 19, 2009 4:07 PM

Leave a Comment

(required)  
(optional)
(required)  

Add

About Emily Farris

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, "Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven" was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

in

about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

Send us links!


Tags

we recommend

partners