So, some of my friends and some friends I have yet to meet have started up a publishing venture called Ligerbeat, a magazine billed as "dicks for chicks."
And I use the term "ladies" in the loosest sense, and the word "loose" in the sense that these women are both loose and tight. That sentence probably made about as much sense as some of the responses in the recent Ligerbeat interview on the Vice blog, but if you roll with it, they'll crack you up in no time.
Take their responses to "What makes a dick top notch?":
Crackie Treehorn: I like motivated dicks that don't bullshit, know exactly what they want and take it. They’re on some bossy shit. Also, dicks that can make me laugh until I'm fucking crying are great. Your shit could be crooked like a roach leg but if you can make me crack up, the panties will get wet, trust. And it has to be fat or I'm not with it.
Yung Ho: Good dick should be like a good salad. It should fill you up and leave you feeling light and refreshed, ready to tackle your day.
Then my girl Calisha Jenkins tells about the time her friend encountered a dick that was just too small and pretended to fall asleep on it. "What this tells you is: if you get a girl in bed and she immediately falls asleep, your dick is fucking little, son."
Stay assy, ladies.
Full interview with a preview of layouts here, and check out the Liger Beat blog. Issue one coming soon.
Related:
Officer Dicks Says, "Pull Up Your Pants or I'll Pull Them Up for You!"