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"Why Does Steam Come Out of My Vagina?"

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

We were weighing another post about how eHow and Yahoo! Answers, among other hideous examples of free speech, are proving America is the dumbest and most unintentionally hilariously country in the United States, when this one question on our second least-favorite internet search engine became the web's top story of the day.

The "answers," while crude and downright offensive, are perhaps inevitable. It's all about setting up comedians for the punchline... if you do it well, you get a neat lil' joke. If you're asking for trouble, well... here's what you get:

Next time this happens, place a ceramic cup with 1 spoon of Nescafe Gold Blend, 2 sugars and a dash of milk between your legs.
Bon Apetite!

You won't die, but some ancient cultures believe in a pillow monster that lives in your vagina. This isnt acknowledged in modern medicine, however, the steam could be caused be the troll exhaling.

I think this means the pasta is done.
 
Unfortunately, your vagina is releasing harmful greenhouse gases that are contributing to global warming. I suggest that you capture the steam using a plastic bag or else you can cause a global catastrophe.
 
Does it smoke? Seriously, I have seen strippers perform this very trick. Perhaps after getting checked out, if there is nothing wrong, you might consider taking your act on the road.
 
As you might have guessed, every single one of these above comments were made by males (none of whom have avatars, let alone names or photos so we can shame them.) Unfortunately, though, the female responses were no better, ranging from the incoherent to "oh my God, better let a doctor take a look at you." It's called a gynecologist and they are available by appointment.
 
Now, the poor girl is talk, if not quite the toast-- of the internet, with inappropriate jokes made at her expense on everything from DListed to BuzzFeed. We'll pass-- these things just write themselves...

Via Yahoo!

 

Related:

Who Does Depression Hurt? Everybody Except Women Taking Semen Vaginally, Says a New Study

 

eHow Shows Us That We've Been Doing It... Right

 

Ask Andy: Birth Control

 

19th Century Women Stuck a Cork in It


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Luke said:

It's just like I say about cock rings.

If your cock rings, answer it!

March 11, 2009 4:15 PM

themustang said:

i know a greek shepherd who can help you with your problem.

his name is papadizi and you can find him on youtube.

he promised finding G-spot off all american woman, so maybe he can help you too. he is funny has hell and i am sure that you can get alot from him.

March 12, 2009 11:06 AM

ZippyDK said:

Do you smoke after sex?

March 12, 2009 1:36 PM

Farn said:

America is not a country in the United States, dumb though it may be. The United States is a country in America.

Irony.

March 12, 2009 6:21 PM

asb76 said:

Farn has really stuck it to you.

I always thought the steam meant it was ready.

March 13, 2009 11:19 AM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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