Another South by Southwest Interactive talk on sex, another live blog from Scanner Emily. I'm still getting used to love bloging so try to bear with me. This one will be good: sexual exploitation with blogger Violet Blue. From the description:
Sexual exploitation and sexual expression are inherent in everyone's online experiences, whether intentional or not. Bloggers, community site users, community managers, web celebs -- everyone will eventually face a sexuality-related crisis where knowing the difference, and how to protect yourself is crucial. From the personal to the professional, we will demonstrate and discuss instances, legal realities and tactics for survival and success. We'll also cover the import and impact of the Lori Drew/MySpace Suicide trial (where Drew was convicted of a federal misdemeanor for violating MySpace's terms of service in order to bully a teenager), Missouri and California's new cyberbullying laws -- and how it all applies to sexual expression and sexual attacks for individuals and social network websites.
6 PM EST
Violet Blue needs no introduction. Asks if anyone knows anoyone who's been stalked or harassed on line or in person.
How do people express themselves sexually online? ? Sex blogging. Personal ads. Creating a dating profile. Taking provocative self portraits. Using a sexy image on a social networking site. Looking for hook ups in chat room. Twittering sexy things. All intentional self expression. Two of her friends twittered a silmultaneous orgasm, in all caps.
Unintentional: Other people putting things about you in a sexual context online? Pictures? Tweets? Blog posts? Wow. Huge foot fetish groups on flickr? Your feet might appear there and you have no control.
VB says clicking a gender box (say in Facebook) it makes you a target for a certain kind of attention. Once you say you're a woman (or man) you get SPAM. True that. You get unintentionally sexualized doing just about anything. VB points out it depends on context.
6:04
She asked what does sexual harassment look like? I brought up that I hate it when men tell me to smile. A man says he tells people to smille all the time. He doesn't think of it the way I do. He's from the south.
6:06
VB asks what it looks like online? Comments on photos. People asking inappropriate questions about your sex life online. "We hate..." Facebook groups. Trolls. Comments positive or negative can be unintentional sexualization, one man says. Say: a woman posts about tech or politics and gets comments on how beautiful she is.
6:10
Idea of anonymous blogging comes up again. I really am going to have to write at length on this.
6:13
Lots of "punishing" happens online when relationships go sour. Terrorizing people.
6:13
VB consulted a HR expert to see if she could apply what sexual harassment looks like at work to what it looks like online. What structures are in place to make sure these things don't happen online?
6:16
Online and offline. Both bleed into real life. Points out "Jefferson" a sex blogger in New York who was married, openly bi, very active in the queer community. They had two kids, got divorced and as a new divorcee started blogging about his life. Wanted to interweave it all. Old sex life, new sex life, being a dad. Blogged about everything. The ex wife found it, put pieces together and decided she was going to use it against him in court to sue for full custody of their children. Him being seen as a bi male and a "dirty sex blogger" is turning him into a sexual minority in this case. Conservative judges. It's working. He's forced into therapy, sreening. All to see if he's fit to raise his children.
6:18
Guy asks, what's the moral of that story. VB says intentional online sexual exporation being used to get back at/ get at people. Man (co-moderato) points out in general sexual exploitation online is being used to hurt people.
6:19
VB brings up the Megan Meyers (sp?) case. The Missouri girl who killed herself after the mother of another young girl harassed her online. Local prosecuters tried to find a way to punish the mom, but no laws fit because it was indirect from the Internet. (Same thing came up at anonymous blogging conversation Saturday: there's no regulation online, so there are not really any laws.) Prosecutor find a way to prove she violated hacking laws using fake name when signing up for MySpace. It was a violation of the TOS.
6:24
VB telling personal story of transgendered friend who had one identity online one in the real world (as a teenager). Happens a lot with MySpace, I think. Co-moderater says no regulation works because it's a safe space for teens to do things like come out, but the no regulation also makes it a dangerous space.
6:26
Guy in argyle points out people will say worse things when they can hide behind fake/no identity. Same reason I think anonymous blogging is a bad thing (mostly). Woman asks what if it's an actual boy who was flirting with her then turned her down, would Megan still have killed herself? So now we blame social media? Man notes had the mother sent paper notes through the USPS would the prosecution have been the same?
6:30
Woman points out for teens, social networking is the only way they really communicate. For adults it's something to play with. Previous woman says: is this a good reason for parents to monitor what the kids do on social networking. I pointed out that because parents don't know the internet, how can they talk to their kids about staying safe on the internet? Another woman pointed out: AND what if they don't know how to talk to their kids about sex? A man thinks it will get better as time goes on. I agree. After the first generation of Internet kids (I guess mine?) start having kids, they should hopefully be able to talk to them about safety/sexuality on the Internet.
6:32
VB points out laws are not catching up with what's happening with technology. Uses Twitter as an example. No policy for stalking, harassing, sexual attacks. Woman had a stalker, would leave terrible Tweets, but then would delete them (even though they still show up in RSS). Co-mod says Twitter's TOS say no user can harass another online, but Twitter decided not to help this woman because there was no definition for a situation like this. WTF?
6:36
VB asks, when you come under attack sexually, what is your goal? How do you handle it? Can you remove yourself from it? Is there recourse? Do you have a hard time talking about it if it's a "sex thing?" What if some of it is true? "Remember that a lot of what's going on with the attack is you at the computer.... remove yourself from the situation and look at it objectively."
6:39
"One thing you can choose to do is ignore it." Determine the threat level. Will it hurt you in real life or is your harasser trying to get a rise out of you. She tells a personal story about her "trolls," ones who edited her wikipedia page and added untrue facts. (This is being recorded, by the way. Will try to get a link.)
6:45
VB points out that Hearts (publishes the Chronicle, where she has her column) is very complicated, and conservative. Some there stand behind her "1,000%" and try to keep her safe from "trolls."
6:47
Her ideas to fix it (if the first doesn't fix it go to the next):
1. ignore
2. report
3. record (everything! take screen caps so you have it even if your "troll" deletes the harassing words/pictures/etc.. VB publishes her death threats on her website with full headers. ballsy, but nice.. one woman asks if that puts her at fault if a fan were to do something to that person... good question)
4. strike back? (on her list, we haven't discussed it yet.. probably publishing threatening emails with headers, it's recording and striking back)
5. get help?
6. protect yourself
6:56
Another woman suggests getting social support (could fall under #5: get help) even if it's just friends, other bloggers, etc.
6:59
How do you protect yourself? VB points out there really is no such thing as 'unpublish.' Whatever is out there will end up archived somewhere. Even if something goes up for just a second, you can never take it back. VB says: If you have something sexually to hide, if you feel like someone is going to out you over, the best course of action is to out yourself first because then you have control over the situation.
7:01
VB talks about a lover she had who didn't want to be outed. Then she got an email from Gawker. Decided to out herself first "in a polite, objective contex" in hopes of not harming her lover, Xeni (from BoingBoing, who is apparently pronounced "Jenny," I did not know this). Valleywag was all over it.
7:05
Discussion still going but I have to run to a food blogger party. Hopefully there will be a link to the audio online soon!
Related: Live Blogging SXSWi: Sex Lives of the Microfamous
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