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Dick Arrested For Pulling Dick Move

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Here's a pop quiz question for you: if your name is Jonathan Dick... and you're a physical education teacher at middle and high schools... what have you been arrested for?

43-year-old Jonathan S. Dick, a resident of the great and now decidedly ashamed state of Maryland, has been arrested for attempting to corrupt a fifteen-year-old boy, who was not one of his students. Dick met the unidentified boy on the WWW, then spent several weeks trying to seduce him via "sexting." According to the boy's parents, Dick didn't put his dick anywhere it doesn't belong, at least not when it comes to their son.

Nonetheless, Jonathan's Dick faces 10 or 20 years in prison, depending on which Baltimore-area news source you believe. Either way, they agree that he's being charged with soliciting sex with a minor.

In an unrelated story, Dick Cheney called a press conference yesterday to remind people he is still available for lampooning.

 

Related:

Ex-Detroit Mayor Gets All Sexy With the Texts

Sloppy Seconds: Yet Another Lesbian Teacher Scandal

"Gossip Girl": Like Kissing Your Teacher

Here's A Kind of Teacher Sex Story We've Never Seen Before...


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About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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