We were going to post about how the business of trashy romance novels is booming now more than ever during this time of, er, bust, and what this says about society and so forth. But far more interesting to us, when we speak of bodice-rippers, are the outrageously over-the-top covers.
And so, after wading through a wealth of virgins, secret babies, highlanders, pirates, and Fabios, we present you with this Gallery of Ludicrous Romance Novel Covers.
You see a lot of prancing horses on romance novel covers. But this is the first one we've seen where the embracing couple is embracing on the prancing horse. Also, in water. (Moments later, we found another.)
CatManDon't.
Sometimes apple-picking is so sexy.
The Ghost Rapist.
I'm pretty sure that in viking times, anyone claiming to be a viking and talking about eternal love with such ripped abs would be swiftly bludgeoned about the head and shoulders by actual vikings.
Have you ever read warnings about what to do if you're in nature and you see a bear? It seems the advice is contradictory: some sources say to run, some say to stand still, some say to raise your arms to make yourself all big. This man is standing his ground and making himself so big that the bear is miniature in comparison. Well played, Island Doctor.
Speaking of the dangers of cavorting in nature... There is Spanish Moss depicted this inner-cover art, indicating it's set the Deep South, where alligators would be lurking in such waters. But no, carry on with the romancing. Leeches love hot blood.
Anybody find the spear suggestive at all?
This one isn't real, but you can find lots more like it at Longmire Does Romance Novels.
And this one isn't so much remarkable for the cover art as for the title. Though it is worth noting how Caucasian these Egyptians look.
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